Chrom and the Fishsticks
by MerchantAnna
Summary: Chrom really loves fishsticks. When an beach party goes wrong, he manages to showcase his signature creation, Exalted Fishsticks. Being an huge hit, he opens up an food joint however, someone sabotages his business and while at it, kidnaps all of the fishsticks! Chrom realizes to rescue his treat, he must establish an party even if it means working with his greatest nemesis, Grima.
1. Cheepter 1: The BUSINESS!

**holy crap, im alive!**

 **so to honor one of my most favorite running gags ever, i decided to the liberty and craft up an beautiful crackfic based on it. note that this takes place in an alternative universe so it doesnt correspond with anything.**

 **in addition to this, the fantastic story, the memememememe brigade heavily inspired me to create this as well as summer break, the glorious hot topic krew(pride and joy), cute toot house and my girlfriend dragging me to the marina and the diamonds froot concert, hence the inspiration for the title.**

 **gasp! merch is actually being nice and capitalizing shit in his story! its the end of the world! nah, i just felt the need to press the shift key for once. however authors notes theres no need for that.**

 **for those who frequent tumblr and follow an certain fanfic blog, you will be extremely familiar with this joke. for those who are new, welcome abroad and enjoy the wacky adventure.**

* * *

 ** _Chrom and the Fishsticks_**  
 _Cheepter 1: The BUSINESS!_

Once upon an time there was an ongoing war between the countries of Ylisse and Plegia in Amerijapanadaropesiafrica. It was started none other than the greedy Gangrel who wanted to get revenge and rule the world just like David Guetta did in his 2004 hit, "The World is Mine." Emmeryn, the current Exalt of Ylisstol at the time tried her best to convince them to reason through peaceful means but unfortunately, the trickster was too much of an dick to even comply. Instead, he kidnapped her and killed her long-time lover Philia in the process. Chrom and his Shepherds rushed over to the scene, arriving too late as Emmeryn decided to sacrifice herself for her people just in hopes of saving them. The younger royal siblings cried, Chrom falling down to his knees as he felt helpless even useless at the fact he couldn't rescue his dearest at the time.

To make matters worse, the sleezebag Gangrel had to rub it in, telling Chrom and the others horrid things like "Trigger warning, #heights and #death" right as his sister leaped off. It was extremely insensitive of him, then again, he is known as the Mad King. From there on, the Ylissean prince alongside the mysterious tactician Refle-, no MOTHER RUBEN, made an pact to put an end to the greedy king's reign of terror and bring peace for both countries. Soon, the final battle between Chrom, Ruben and Gangrel took place as the lord and his tactician finally were able to put the sinister mad man to rest.

"Ugh," cried the mad king Gangrel, "the SJWs are at it... again."

Soon, they helped Lady Say'ri rescue her land and slayed the giant red lobster Walhart, also known as the owner of both the fine eatery establishment Red Lobster and the evilest chain-store of them all, always doing rollbacks, Wal-Mart. Then last but not least was his greatest nemesis ever, THAT FUCKING FELL-DRAGON GRIMA! Oh how Chrom hated Grima and his pure evil to destroy the world, go against Naga's word and even more, he hated Chrom's most beloved food, FISHSTICKS! He was formerly an good friend of both him and Ruben's named Rufure, however he accepted his fate and became his true self Grima. And then after Grima was defeated and sealed away, everyone partied like never before and now years later, the world of Nintendo was happy and at peace.

Unfortunately, Chrom's and Ruben's marriage fell through as she got annoyed with his weird spending habits, his atheist ways, his love for fishsticks and worst of all, he cheated on her with Amy Rose. So, they gotten an divorce and she managed to use the great justice of her lawyer Mr. Burn's lawyer as he somehow managed to make her win the majority of Chrom's possessions to include an good chunk of his finances. That didn't matter because Chrom's an king and his king friends had his back, ranging from King Harkinian, King K Rool, King Dedede, and even the King of Cosmos himself as they all pitched in and gave Chrom everything he lost, to include more.

Now, fast foward to current day, Chrom was walking alongside the beach to join his fellow Memes for their annual summer barbecue party. Shulk was dressed in his underwear color swap, Reyn showing off his muscles, his ancestor Marth wearing an bathing suit from the 1940s, Ike showing off his sexy, six pack and beefy abs, Riki wearing an circular tubed floaty with Steven Universe's Lion on it, Donkey Kong well, wearing funky sunglasses, to even Bayonetta wearing an hot bikini which revealed her beautiful figure. Inklet held onto an watergun, playing with Kirby, Toon Link and his spunky pirate girlfriend Tetra, Lissa, Donnel and Ricken.

Other guests were invited to the big beach bash as well, consisting of Lady Palutena and her patriotic, Abraham Lincoln loving angel Pit and his robot boyfriend Mega-Man, the short yet full of energy mushroom girl Toadette, Ness and his cute and intelligent girlfriend Paula, Jigglypuff, the dynamic duo Lucario and Silver the Hedgehog, the stylish Tiny Kong, Zelda and her beau Link, Mario and his lover Princess Peach, Sonic the Hedgehog, the overly optimistic weeaboo Lana to even the famous Dry Bowser.

They were all jamming to Madonna's "Music" seeing how Shulk is an huge fan of Madonna, the 90s, children's television shows to even his favorite font in the entire world, comic sans. Everyone engaged with one another in conversation, Chrom talking about how his milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard and damn right, they were better than Grima's.

"Um, Chrom?" said Nikki, the Swapnote Mii.

"Yes?" he replied.

"You do know Kelis is referring to her breasts in that song right? I really don't think you have any milkshakes, otherwise I'd be rather concerned," she informed him, writing some notes down.

The blue-haired lord frowned in response, realizing that Nikki was in fact, correct. Soon after, his mood was quickly lifted as Palutena held some fancy strawberry shortcake she purchased from Cooking Mama's Bakery. The goddess originally wanted to bake an cake herself yet Pit pleaded her not to, fearing that it would end up like another infamous revolting dinner episode.

Marth took an bite, before feeding his beautiful tan boyfriend Shulk. He moved the fork around, making airplane noises as he smiled.

"Here comes Jayjay the Jetplane," he exclaimed in excitement. "Open wide."

Shulk opened wide, allowing for the fork to enter his mouth as he took an bite of the delicious strawberry shortcake.

"Hey Chrom, can you go get something from the car for a second?" asked Little Mac. "My phone's in there and I want to show Samus something."

"Leave it to Beaver, I mean Chrom," said Chrom.

The Ylissean king made his way towards the MemeMemeMeme Mobile, yet tripped on an sand bucket, falling flat on his face. Soon after, he felt something on top of his head as he slightly moved his head out of the sand, realizing the sand bucket now happened to be on his face. He gently removed the object, looking for he culprit as he came face to face with an pair of big, brown eyes blinking at him. It appeared to be an little girl who've recently turned one years old two days ago. Soon, he felt something hit the back of his head as he winced in pain, muttering some curse words as he looked in the direction of where he felt the object come from as he met another pair of brown eyes as it was now an little boy. Before he could shake his fists because he will not fall to the ground again after Captain Falcon defeated him that one time thus preventing his chance for an slot in the Smash Brothers tournament, someone ran over towards him.

"Marc, don't be throwing things at stran- Chrom?!"

Looking up, he came face to face with none other than his former friend Robin. He noticed the man's wife near them as well as she held onto another small child who appeared to be sleeping this time. The lord couldn't help but make a face as eck, goths were near.

"My goth senses are tingling," Chrom stated in utter disgust. "Don't tell me that the measly Hot Topic Krew followed us here."

"Um, Chrom two things are wrong with your statement," Robin corrected. "First of all, there are no goths near and second, my wife and I aren't even in the Hot Topic Krew anymore. We're too old for that shit and plus, we have an family of our own to take care of."

"Wait, you guys aren't goth anymore?!"

Chrom was certainly out of the loop as baby Morgan reached for the plastic shovel, scooping up sand and burying Chrom's feet to the best of her ability.

"You do remember that the groups disbanded after both the United Nations and the President sent the FBI, National Guard, the SWAT Team, G.U.N., Paul Blart Mall Cop, the Avengers, the CIA to include the famous CIA agent Bill Wilson, X-Men, to even the Justice League right?" informed Robin's beautiful, big-boobed caramel wife Cia. Her hair happened to be back to its natural lavender color as Chrom didn't recall seeing her like that last time. Instead, he recalled her edgy, white hair as she was Ow the Edge of The Legend of Zelda franchise. "Hell, Bill Wilson greeted us as CIA and then had the nerve to tell me I was copyright infringing my own theme song!"

CIA now owned the rights to "Eclipse of the Moon" after he managed to somehow claim that Cia stole her own theme song. Now when people were to watch the Dark Night Rises, her former theme song played in the background of the plane scene were he goes "Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA."

"Not the Memes. We're still growing strong," he replied back, correcting her. Then he added, "Also if you switched back to your natural hair color, why are you still tan?!"

"Do you think I want to look like my overbearing, religious mother?!" she retorted back, being slightly annoyed. It was true, if Cia were to ever lose her sexy tan, she would look like an exact clone of her mother, God's girl and Riki's trusted companion Kynthia. Little Marc looked over in her direction as he heard her voice, lifting up his arms as he wanted to be picked up.

"Ma... Ma..." he babbled, trying to grab her attention. She kneeled down and managed to grab baby Marc, smiling softly while baby Morgan wanted to be held by her father.

"You do have an point..." said Chrom. "Also, that baby is evil!" he added, pointing at Marc.

"He's only an year old dumb ass," Cia exclaimed, being offended by the man's words. How dare he claim her precious little angel to be the evil incarnation of Tabuu.

"Wait, you said the MemeMemeMeme Brigade is still together?!" Robin stated, recalling that moment.

"Yep. Unlike you guys, we actually are an club just like Playhouse Disney, Nick Jr and PBS Kids combined," he proudly roared.

"I see," Robin flatly replied. He exchanged looks with his wife as they both slowly nodded.

As they talked with one another and walked with Chrom to retrieve things from the MemeMemeMeme Mobile, two mischievous kids were near the party, snickering as they had planted fireworks in the grill, picnic tables to even the radio. Dark Pit smirked, taking an sip of his hardcore Capri-sun as his boyfriend Lucas held an remote control with an giant, red button.

"Tell me when you want me to press the button babe," said Lucas.

"Three, two, one and... NOW!"

The blonde bishounen did as his boyfriend told him to, causing the grill to fly out of control, as well as the picnic table full of all the delicious treats to fly up in the sky, never to be seen again like Team Rocket in every episode of Pokemon. They went into an fit of laughter as they heard screaming, a piece of steak even falling on green mom's face.

Pit frowned, knowing already who was behind this awful prank while Shulk was devastated when the radio exploded, losing his beloved Madonna CD in the process.

"DANG IT PITTOO!" screamed the angel. He hastily came for his younger twin as Dark Pit grinned in his face.

"Now what are we going to have to eat?!" Toadette whined.

"Well, I can do the Mashed Potato," Ness proudly stated.

"Now's not the time for that Ness!" Paula said, shooting down her boyfriend's favorite dance ever.

"HAVE NO FEAR, CHROM IS HERE!"

Everyone turned around, seeing Chrom holding what appeared to be golden fishsticks which were deep fried in batter. These were no ordinary fishsticks as they all had their own Mark of the Exalt on them.

Bayonetta couldn't help but feel puzzled. "You carry fishsticks around with you in public?"

"Yep! Who knows when these puppies might come in handy, after all, they're fishsticks," he said. Chrom loved the fishsticks and their fishy stick ways. He learned an lesson though when he tried to feed this delicious food to an seagull. Never again, he thought to himself.

Samus couldn't help but lean towards the beautiful witch, whispering something.

"I do not want to know how that's even made," she murmured.

"Me either."

It was time for the moment of truth. Everyone took an bite as their taste buds started dancing from the exotic flavor, rap music blaring from the distance as it went "Fishsticks Puffs, Fishsticks Puffs! Tempura-Cayenne Flavor!" The whole group almost lost it like Sunny the Cocopuffs bird who went cuckoo for Cocopuffs as it was supposively flavored with Hershey's which we all know IS AN FUCKING LIE!

"Holy shit, it's actually good," said Reyn.

"I'm surprised, especially for someone like... Chrom," Zelda stated.

"HEY! I DO CHROM THINGS ALRIGHT!"

"Take it chill pill Chromeister," said the surprise guest, Henry. Everyone peered over in his direction as he was being embraced by none other than... an Robin clone?! But how?!

Cia couldn't help but feel extremely creeped out by this, in fact, she almost thought Robin ran off from her but he was right next to her the whole time. She looked at her twin sister before kneeling down, speaking in an high pitched voice to her belly as Lana was seven months pregnant with Crossbow Training Link's child, also known as Warrior Link.

"I can't wait to see you, yes Auntie can't wait," she said as if the belly was an dog.

"Oh dear Goddesses, stop. You look like an fool when you do that," Zelda said, cringing.

"Shut up!"

Lana chuckled a bit before sighing. At least their bickering wasn't bad as it was before which was an good thing.

"Did you do it with S-Support?" questioned Palutena, remembering how overly obsessed Lana's parents were over S-Support.

"Ummm." The sorceress' face turned tomato red as she couldn't finished the answer, which only means one thing. No, she did not do it with S-support however by Lancia family rule, Links were exempted which Robin found to be absolute bullshit.

"Who needs S-Support when you have A-Support," Henry said, butting in their conversation.

"A-Support?" Marth tilted his head, unsure what the white haired mage even meant by that.

"Ass Support, duh nya ha ha," he replied. "Guys, I want you to meet my fiance, Roben."

"Hi Roben!" said everyone except Cia and Robin, who were still fucking creeped out by the whole thing.

"I thought he was about to say Ribon," she whispered.

"Same," her husband whispered back.

"Hey Chrom," said Shulk, changing the topic before things got too awkward or out of hand, "Have you ever thought of opening up your own food joint? These will make an fortune!"

"Now that I think of it, no! Perhaps I can share my love of fishsticks with the world! I can see it now, Fishy Chrom's Fishsticks! The Best Fishsticks in all of Mushroom Kingdom, Hyrule, Ylisee-!"

"We get it Chrom," Nikki interrupted him, not honestly wanting to hear him go off on another tangent.

"Chrom's Fishsticks aren't made with love! Riki says they're made with SATAN!" said Riki, dousing his with holy water before eating it.

* * *

As the gang were excited to help Chrom with his new idea, little did they know, someone wasn't happy about it. Lucina frowned, finding her father's idea for an small food joint absolutely stupid. Out of all the things she loathed about her father's bad traits, the one she hated the most was his love of fishsticks. Oh how Lucina hated the fishsticks and their fishstick ways! Furthermore, he loved them more than he will ever love her and her little brother Markus, heck, even her own mother! Her blood boiled as she recalled finding his priorities list of who he would rescue in an dire situation.

 _Chrom's Priority List_  
 _1\. Fishsticks_  
 _2\. Chromantha_  
 _3\. Beautiful Hedgehog Babes_  
 _4\. Rappy McRapperson_  
 _5\. Lucina_  
 _6\. Markus_  
 _7\. Ruben_

Shia out of all people, was higher than the list than she was! It irked her so much, especially since he was never there for her older half-sister yet somehow she was top priority over the daughter he got to know and raise due to the fact that she loved Forever 21 and most importantly, fishsticks as well. Lucina felt heartbroken, let alone betrayed by her own father. Before she decided that putting an stop to this was pointless, an porter potty rose up from the ground out of nowhere. The door opened, revealing Yoshi, Cross, Roy and Diddy Kong.

"So, I heard you might need an little help taking care of an fishstick obsessed man. Care to join us?"

Lucina was hesitant at first, feeling awful for going against her own code of honor however, this was the last straw. She was sick of Chrom pushing her and her brother to the side to do his stupid Chrom things such as starting up Google Chrome or even saying how much he hates the state of California, which she admits, ain't even all that bad.

"I'm in," she answered.

Yoshi grinned, being quite delighted by her answer. "Very well. Inform your mother as well, I'm sure she would be interested in getting revenge as well.

While Lucina and Mother Ruben joined the Yoshi & Co. Gang, word of Chrom's new business happened to spread to an certain someone. Rufure placed down the newspaper he was engrossed in, making an face.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," he stated.

Unbeknownst, Chrom's new food establishment had drawn itself attention.

* * *

 **ive done chaptar, chaptarp, and now cheepter. how many more variations of chapter can i come up with? only naga knows and man, i have sinned.**

 **in the next cheepter, chroms business takes off on grand opening day, already drawing in millions of adoring fans. however, what happens when his dream job is sabotaged by the yoshi & co. gang? realizing he'll need all the help he can get, chrom decides to establish an team of his own to rescue all of the fishsticks in the world even if it includes working with his long-time nemesis grima.**

 **now, i rarely do this but i ask you, citizens of earth, to throw me names and suggest to me who would you like to see in chroms group which is called, yep you guessed it, chrom and the fishsticks.**

 **i already have some people in mind but im always open to more suggestions.**

 **heck, feel free to pitch in wacky ideas and scenarios as well, as long as they arent too disturbing or gross.**

 **now to put this story on archive of our own as well!**


	2. Cheepter 2: Sabotaging the Mic

**oh hi everybody. i managed to finish cheepter 2.**

 **im loving all the ideas so far. keep sending them my way.**

* * *

 ** _Chrom and the Fishsticks_**  
 _Cheepter 2: Sabotaging the Mic_

The next day, Chrom managed to achieve an location near the pier at Lake Seaside Dyre Dyre Hylia Hill Docks. He debated on how he wanted the exterior, let alone the interior to look like for his new fishy business. Overall, the king was excited to finally be sharing his special fishsticks with the Nintendo populace. Little did the other Shepherds know that it has been his life long dream to share his extraordinary recipe with others just like how Spongebob introduced the customers of The Krusty Krab to eating their Krabby Patties with jellyfish jelly. The indigo haired exalt wondered how that even tasted like, let alone if an krabby patty was grind up planktons or beef of the sea.

First he debated on having his place look like the Chum Bucket however, quickly decided against it. Chrom had to watch an couple of Spongebob Squarepants episodes to see that nobody went to the Chum Bucket for plenty of good reasons. If Plankton would have realized earlier that his food fucking sucks in the first place and thus is inedible, he probably could have actually had an actual business. Some fucking genius he is.

The next option was it looking like Chrom's childhood hero, Captain Underpants. The Ylissean king was an huge fan of the novels back in the good ol'days of the 1990s, reading them in high school. He even did an book report on Captain Underpants even though his teacher at the time told him it was completely invalid because the book he chose wasn't at the high school level. The man of course, retaliated in response as he managed to hop on top of the teacher's desk, grabbing the attention of both his classmates and other passerbys.

Soon after, he slapped his ass and yelled with his chords, no, I mean chroms of steel and told his teacher " FUCK YOU! CHROM DOES WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS!"

Of course, that resulted in in-school suspension afterwards while the prince at the time felt like he went down like an MLG champion.

So, he resorted to one of his many grand designs. Chrom took out his magical crayola crayons, sketchbook paper, and last but not least, his majestic burnt CD, all which was filled with one song only being Rappy McRapperson's "Fishsticks." Soon, he was able to create the most unique design as it was defined as modern, hip and even an beautiful design of modern day art.

Afterwards, Chrom had his fellow Meme'bers help him with the building of the place. They gave it the signature meme look, making the place fun, colorful and full of life. It looked like colors you would see in an preschool classroom, complete with primary color puzzle piece rug, toy boats and airplanes dangling from the ceiling and even the spaceship from Cyberchase. It was perfect as the Memes found it to be the most hip place in the tristate area.

Little did the fishstick loving lord know that his fishstick hating daughter along with the evil Yoshi & Co. Gang and his ex-wife Mother Ruben were out to sabotage, even destroy his business permanently.

Yoshi sipped on some Capri-sun in the toilet, well you know because he was IN THE BATHROOM. Cross had weed flavored Juicy Juice, Roy was loaded with both the dosh and Mountain Dew Code Red sponsored by Call of Duty, Diddy Kong sipped on his coconut drink from his coconut cup while Lucina and Ruben just watched them, drinking nothing.

"So, it appears that the idiot has finished his grand design and by grand, I mean god fucking awful," said Yoshi. He pressed an device on the toilet as an high tech screen showed itself to his teammates, revealing a picture of none other than Fishy Chrom's Fishsticks.

"Gods, that's the most hideous design I've ever even seen and I thought I've seen worse," Ruben exclaimed, wondering why did she ever find that man attractive. Well, he did have that charming smile, that glorious muscular body with scrumptious pecks, the nippiest nipples, and beautiful silky smooth skin which elegantly displayed his royal status. Damn, now I can see why Fredrick made that Chrom Wants You poster because damn, anyone will fall in love with the sexy fishstick, hedgehog fetish, atheist loving lord as well when they first lay eyes on him.

"I wonder how much beautiful money they even wasted on that shit seriously. I mean, who in the right mind even thought that this architectural design is even modern day art," Roy stated, adding in his own opinion. He was forever salty that Shulk will never let him join the MemeMemeMeme Brigade due to his asshole ways. He wondered what made Shulk resent him in the first place forgetting that he always was waving his cash in everyone's faces, blaring rap music wherever he went.

"Well, it obviously is an design of Father's," said Lucina, explaining it to her new allies. "He never was able to understand the simple concept of color composition, let alone anything. In fact, when Mother and Father were still together, Mother was the one who was really running the country of Ylisse. My father didn't understand how to do taxes let alone invested thousands of dollars just to rebuild an town entirely out of fishsticks."

"My god, is he really that stupid?!" yelled Cross, spitting out some of his magic juice in shock. He couldn't even believe it. How did Chrom get away with so much stupid shit while other kings usually got dethroned and while at it, beheaded for engaging in such tomfoolery.

"Yes," both Lucina and Ruben answered at the same time. Soon, the Ylissean princess thought of the most perfect and devious plan ever.

"Guys, I just thought of something..." she said.

The group huddled closely as the blue haired princess thoroughly explained her brilliant idea to them. They all beamed in delight, finding it to be absolutely perfect.

"We'll see who has the last laugh Chrom, ruler of fishsticks or should I say, fishstickless!" said Yoshi.

Soon, all of them began laughing like hyenas while Ludacris began playing, Roy releasing the sexy female dancers in bikinis.

* * *

The follow day after, it was finally time for the grand opening. Ike held onto the giant pair of scissors as hordes of adoring fans from all across the globe anticipated their appetites for Chrom's unique treat. His fishsticks were known as Exalted Fishsticks due to the fact that they all bore the famous Mark of the Exalt which usually hinted if someone was of Hero King blood or not. The various murmurs mixed in with one another, vast characters of all kinds having conversations with one another as they waited to step inside and get their grub on.

About five minutes later,2 Unlimited's "Get Ready For This" started playing to up the excitement more, the crowd cheering as Marth himself did the honors of cutting the ribbon as Fishy Chrom's Fishsticks was now officially open for business. Everyone came inside as the doors opened, actually liking the exotic interior. They had an TV which currently played Bear in the Big Blue House, an children's play palace in which grown ups can relive their childhood once more as well, and a cool, retro arcade for those who wanted to relive the golden days of both the 80s and the 90s.

It was clearly an fun atmosphere, being extremely family friendly and even better, all the music was from various films, children's shows and even Chrom's favorite jam from the 90s, "Cynthia Work Out." Others consisted of "Jellyfish Jam," "Stronger Than You," and "There Are No Cats in America" from An American Tale. Oh, and of course, Chrom's favorite song to ever exist in the world, "Fishsticks" by Rappy McRapperson.

"I gotta hand it to you Chrom, these are really amazing," Sonic complimented, taking another bite of his exalted fishstick as he wasn't eating chili dogs for once. He was joined by his friends Tails, Knuckles along with Cream the Rabbit and her trusty companion Cheese the adorable chao.

"I've never had any fishsticks like this before either. I wonder what the secret recipe even is," Tails added, joining along.

"These are Knuckles approved and even I don't chuckle," said Knuckles, who adds & Knuckles to everything.

"If Abraham Lincoln were here, he would one hundred percent make these the national food of Amerijapanadaropesiafrica," exclaimed Pit. Mega-Man gave an thumbs up in response, both of them being huge fans of the beautiful Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth president of the United States.

"Remember Pit, like the saying goes if there are fans there are also bound to be enemies as well. Who knows what kind of people would be out to destroy an business, let alone rid the world of fishsticks. In fact, it could be anyone from an certain edgy McEmolord to someone who loves spending their time at you know, IN THE BATHROOM," Palutena stated.

"It Pittoo tries to do anything funny, I will make him write an one-thousand and five hundred word essay on why destroying businesses are bad," Pit retorted, hoping Dark Pit wasn't planning anything funny with his beautiful bae Lucas. Everything I just think of Lucas I start crying because he's just that beautiful. Forever Lucassexual.

"Um, wouldn't there only be like one person out to destroy Chrom?" Toadette correcting, recalling that Chrom's greatest nemesis was none other than the fell dragon Grima.

"Now that you've brought that up Toadette, that is highly true. I honestly would doubt it though since if I remember correctly, he works for NASA," replied the goddess of light.

While everyone was invested in their own conversation, Chrom was having one of his own with Little Mac, Samus, Shulk, Marth and Captain Falcon. The race car driver was sharing his many tales when he was out driving on Mute City and how Samurai Goroh lost control of his vehicle and fell off the track.

"Damn, the F-Zero races sound more intense than Mario Kart," said Little Mac, being surprised.

"And I thought Rainbow Road was bad," Samus added.

"You know what's bad?" said Chrom.

"What?" everyone else answered at once.

"Those drivers who are so full of themselves. They're usually from ugh, California and just by looking at their smug self makes me sick! They drive expensive vehicles usually ranging from Ferraris, Bentleys, and even Porsches. Even worse, they're usually rich people dressed up in some kind of fancy suit who listen to electronic dance music," ranted the Ylissean king, now fishstick business owner.

Speak of the devil, an black Lamborghini Aventador happened to making its way over towards the eating establishment, blasting "Pegasus" by Protoculture. The driver donning an Z Zega Trim Fit Wool Suit along with Calvin Cline's Eurphoria for Men cologne. To add on, the once clear, sunny sky now was covered up in the darkest of clouds, almost as if something wicked was heading this way.

"Finally, weather I can actually enjoy," said Dark Pit, loving the dark, gloomy weather which suddenly appeared.

Lucas noticed Viridi lighting up an fishstick, causing him to tilt his head in bewilderment.

"Are you trying to smoke an fishstick?" he asked her.

"If they're magical, then they might be able to work wonders as well," she exclaimed.

Phosphora just gave the goddess of nature an look, wondering why Viridi was obsessed with blazing it and 420. She recalled the time when she was high and tried to smoke Blaze the Cat once. Let's just say things didn't go too well.

"What's with the weather all the sudden?" Reyn said, stating the obvious.

"I have an bad feeling about this and usually, I'm really feeling it," replied Shulk.

Suddenly everything grew quiet as someone abruptly opened the entrance door, the sound of thunder going off as it was also accompanied by its good pal lighting. Chrom narrowed his eyes seeing how it was none other than his greatest enemy.

"Grima..." Chrom said in an bitter tone.

The fell dragon manakete observed the inside of Chrom's fast food eatery, smirking by the fact it looked like the Little Einsteins meets an giant magical rainbow full of barf.

"Rumor has it that some Ylissean idiot decided to invest in an restaurant, an fishstick restaurant out of all things. I thought the exterior was bad but now seeing the inside just makes me want to gag. You think this is art? It's childish and has nothing to do with the theme of your godawful establishment," said Rufure.

The Exalt tried his best to refrain from turning in the Inchromible Chromk, hell, even beating the smirk off of his face or telling him off. After all, there were families inside as well and he didn't want to come off as some maniac.

"Hmph, least I'm creative. You're just jealous because I actually have an successful business now and you don't. How about them apples Grima, or should I say, FEELS DRAGON!" Chrom yelled.

Rufure side eyed the man in return, shaking his head. Of course, he had an comeback for the fish stick loving king of Ylisse. After all, he's fucking Grima and Chrom's an annoying pest.

"My grandchildren are more creative than you and they just turned one three days ago," Grima said, rubbing it in. He folded his arms, grinning as he watched the blue haired man in front of him open up his jaw in slight shock for an moment.

Before Chrom could say anything, the gorgeous priest Libra and his fabulous boyfriend Virion came to the rescue, the blonde haired beauty holding an bottle of holy Ogo water as he opened it.

"THE POWER OF NAGA COMPELS YOU!" Libra screamed, dousing Rufure with holy water.

The fell dragon manakete fell down to the floor, screeching in complete pain.

"Ha ha," said Chrom, his voice changing from Matthew Mercer's to Nelon Muntz's for a split second. The fell dragon was finally put to rest in Chrom terms however Chrom forgot one more thing about Grima being...

WHACK!

Chrom felt an hard slap on the back of his head as he moved forward an bit from the sudden force. He winched in pain, muttering a few curse words under his breath as he wondered who even had the nerve to hit him! After all, he wasn't the one who holy watered that awful demon. He soon came face to face with none other than Grima's wife, the goddess who watches over time, maintains the balance of the sacred Triforce(which is an rare Dorito you can't get in stores) and malls, lover of church and God, Kynthia.

"What did you do to my husband?!" she scolded, blaming Chrom on something he didn't do.

"Watched him get holy watered. He deserves it, being fell dragon scum," replied Chrom, slightly miffed from her assumption. He noticed her sipping on an soft drink but something was missing. SHE HAD NO FISHSTICKS AAAAH THIS IS A CRIME!

"Only drink? NO FISHSTICKS?!" Chrom said, seeing her act of only getting an drink as an heinous crime. He couldn't believe the nerve of some people to not even buy the sweet fishy taste of an nutritious fishstick.

"Um, I hate fishsticks remember?" she replied, sighing.

"Liar! You just lied and that's illegal!"

"Now, to get to the point your menu is quite... interesting to say the least. Fishstick nuggets, Fishstickger with Fishy Fish fries, Fishstickalad, Fishstick strips, Fishstick milkshake, Fishstick wrap, Grilled Fishstick, Fishstick tacos, Fishstick flavored ice cream... everything is literally fishsticks," Kynthia informed the fishstick fetish man, cringing.

"So? It's a FISHSTICK eating establishment. I serve food of THE SEA, not food of THE LAND," Chrom rebuttled back.

"So, everything's made out of fishsticks? To include the vegetables and bread?" she said, kind of amazed at his stupidity. Her face expression dropped as the religious woman began to even wonder what made such an blue-haired idiot love the greasy food so much.

"Of course! It's fishsticks, the greatest treat in the entire world!"

"... You do realize your business is going to fail right? I mean, other seafood resturants at least have some alternative menu items for those who don't even like fish, let alone are even allergic to it! Plus, its an overkill of fishsticks for crying out loud!" she explained, sighing.

"Do not help him dear," Rufure said as he finally regained consciousness again. "Let this buffoon learn the hard way when the hype for this shit finally dies down."

Before Chrom could say anything, it was time for his performance! He suddenly appeared on center stage holding an microphone as he started thrusting his hips.

"Are you ready for... Chrom time?" said Chrom. Everyone cheered.

"On an one, two, three, hit it Captain F!" said Samus.

Reyn folded his arms, frowning. Chrom stole the idea from him. There can only be ONE person who has an time and that is REYN TIME!11!1!

 **Nikki: Ready? Here we go now!**

 **Chrom: Chrom he's a really cool dancer**

 **Chrom boogie to the groove now**

 **Chrom starts wiggling his ass as he was twerking. The other Meme'bers joined him, Ness doing the Mashed Potato on the side.**

 **Shulk: He's got those moves, long as you move those arms and legs**

 **Marth: He's moving up on the floor**

 **Little Mac: He's ready to break some eggs (Ike: Make an fishstick Chrom)**

 **All Meme'bers: Whooo!**

 **Chrom: Shake it, shake it Chrom's so fantastic**

 **Chrom: Just don't break it, Chrom's only made of Chrom Things**

 **Kirby: Chrom he's a real cool dancer**

 **Falco: Chrom boogie to the groove now**

 **Bayonetta: He's got real neat hair**

 **Inklet: He's got those big blue eyes**

 **Reyn: He's got his mis-matched shoes**

 **Dunban: He's ready to accessorize**

 **(Chrom: Buy all my outfits boys)**

 **He gives an seductive wink, almost causing Rufure to throw up right on the spot.**

 **Chrom: Shake it, Shake it I'm so fantastic**

 **Just don't break it, Chrom's really made of fishsticks**

 **All Meme'bers: Chrom he's a real cool dancer**

 **Chrom boogie to the groove now**

 **"Everyone! Join in!"**

 **Everyone: Chrom he's a real cool dancer**

 **Chrom boogie to the groove now**

Before Grima could say thank god the monstrosity is over, the power suddenly went out, causing people to panic before going back up! Suddenly, the fishsticks were missing! It was the worst thing someone could ever do. Chrom looked to see who would even do such an cruel deed however no one was to be found. Soon, a message displayed as it revealed Lucina?

"Lucina?!" Chrom couldn't believe it. His own daughter was possibly behind this whole evil scheme.

"Hello Father, it appears that your love of fishsticks has gone too far! I for one, am fed up with it! It's fishsticks this, fishsticks that, oh how I love the fishsticks and their fishy stick was and how it makes Pikachus go pikur pikur instead of pika pika like regular ones! So, I've abducted all of the fishsticks in the world!" she expalined.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE FISHSTICKS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" CHROM SCREAMED. He then fell onto the floor like the time Captain Falcon defeated him, ruining his chance to join the SSB4 tournament as his own fighter and not part of an Final Smash.

Rufure laughed in his face while Kynthia covered her ears from the sudden yelling.

"Serves you right Chrom," said Grima.

"In addition to the fishsticks, we also decided to confiscate newspapers as well," she added.

Rufure's jaw dropped as he fell down to his knees.

"NOOOOOOO! NOT THE NEWSPAPER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" GRIMA SCREAMED.

He then fell down on the floor to join Chrom in defeat. His wife rolled her eyes and shook her head, finding this the most embarrassing thing he's ever done!

"Oh by the way, before I go, I have something to tell you Father. You have more enemies than meets the eye. There's nothing you can do to stop them and plus, your shitty food place is bound to fail. After all, there's no one who will help you get back the fishy treat. That and the groups are no more. After all, they are considered terrorists groups and an national threat to the world. I bid you all good day," said Lucina before she disappeared.

* * *

Later that night, Chrom couldn't sleep. His beloved fishsticks were gone, taken away from him. Soon, he came to the realization that in order to rescue the fishsticks, he must set aside his differences and work with his nemesis. He dialed Grima's cellphone number as the fell dragon picked up.

"What do you want now? Its two in the morning," whined Grima.

"Grima, I ugh, hate to ask you this but we must work together if we want to rescue both the fishsticks and the newspaper. I'm assembling a team and I need your grandmaster tactician skills."

"... Can't you ask Robin for that?"

" He's too young. Let him raise his two angels and one devil son," he said. "The other one I know is that witch Ruben and I hate her. You're my last resort, so what do you say? You in?"

"... On one condition," said Grima.

"Name it."

"My wife has to be with me at all times. You know how much she means to me. If I didn't have her along my side, it will only worry her and I don't want that to happen otherwise I'll hate myself," he explained.

"But she'll make me go to somewhere worse than California. She'll force me to go to... CHURCH!" Chrom whined.

"... It's either that or I decline. Who knows, we might not even be able to go to one for an while due to this absurd mess Chrom, so either accept my offer or no deal."

"... Fine. She came join."

"Good. We'll find our members first thing in the morning."

And with those words he hung up.

* * *

 **thats it.**

 **in the next cheepter, chrom assembles his team, chrom and the fishsticks officially. they are assigned beautiful titles by chrom before deciding to give their own serious title because chrom cant come up with anything good. then, they encounter their first nemesis, an angry lanky man who wears purple! what does he have against fishsticks?!**

 **still taking suggestions for chroms teammates. so far i considering**

c **hrom(duh)**  
 **grima(of course)**  
 **kynthia(grima wouldnt join without mama cia)**  
 **shulk**  
 **ness the okey**  
 **weeaboo ganondorf**  
 **riki**  
 **palutena**  
 **pit**  
 **phosphora**  
 **toadette**

 **thats all i have so far. just need to give these guys proper job titles. feel free to pitch those to me as well.**

 **we will be seeing characters like paul blart mall cop, CIA(eclipse of the moon begins playing), a big guy for you, and an certain clown with the biggest fast food franchise in the world in this story! after all, its an chromventure!**

 **also expect musical numbers a lot in this since mmmb is the inspiration for this.**


	3. Cheepter 3: Establishing the Team Pt 1

**this took a bit longer than i suspected. unfortunately, im not even done yet so im just going to break it into two parts instead.**

 **loving all of these suggestions btw guys. youre all awesome.**

* * *

 ** _Chrom and the Fishsticks_**  
 _Cheepter 3: Birth of the Fishsticks part 1_

The next morning, Chrom arose from his slumber. He hoped that Lucina's devious act was all an ploy and furthermore, an mere dream. The blue-haired Ylissean king got off his giant, Spongebob Squarepants themed bed and made his way towards his closet to get dressed. He groaned, muttering a few words under his breath as he seemed to remember that he had to meet up with Grima this morning. Part of him wondered why he was even stooping so low to work alongside his nemesis real quickly and not just use Roben however, both of them lost something of extreme value to them that day. Plus, Roben was Henry's fiance and he really didn't want to ask the dark mage himself if he could borrow his boyfriend for a moment.

He turned on the radio as he began to brush his teeth and clean himself up for the day. It appeared to be discussing the disappearance of all of the fishsticks and newspapers in the world. The Ylissean king heavily sighed, quite bummed out that overall, this was not an dream. The confiscation of the fishsticks and the newspapers was reality, one Chrom wishes he could go back in time and change. Perhaps he could ask an time traveler or look for Marty McFly so he can go BACK TO THE FUTURE I MEAN PAST LIKE SAMURAI JACK!

As he finished, the man turned off the radio not wanting to hear another world. After all, he had to meet up with his nemesis and his wife and work alongside them, heck even find team members who would even bother helping them in their epic quest to rescue the goods back. Chrom realized he hadn't even eaten breakfast yet but figured he could just eat breakfast at Grima's place. One thing he did remember about it though was its strange decor, courtesy of the Lancia family heirloom. Part of him still wondered if the Lancia twins still lived there, heck even his beloved Chromantha who keeps repeatedly telling him that her name is Shia and not Chromantha. Then he remembered that all three girls moved out awhile ago, Cia with Robin in his apartment, Lana with Crossbow Training Link and Shia well, he hadn't had the slightest clue where little Chromantha would even go.

He couldn't even recall the last time he's ever seen her. Chrom figured it was most likely an year ago during the whole group club or whatever the hell they're called fiasco going on as overall, the perishable results only caused more harm than good. City property got destroyed, businesses were in ruins, heck even a lot of spectacular events got delayed due to the unnecessary fighting caused by Icarus and the evil Yoshinator. It was quite the absurd battle indeed, especially from an Meme'ber's standpoint yet they've managed to get tangled up as terrorists under the sleazy Hot Topic Krew and unfortunately, the Tooters were labeled as criminal masterminds as well.

When word first came out, he remembered poor Toadette almost on the verge of tears due to having such an horrible label barred under her good name. Tiny Kong and Palutena did their best to calm her down, promising that they would try their best to explain to Paul Blart and the others that it's an complete understanding yet their words of encouragement didn't reach her. Instead, it only made things worse. Luckily her biggest role model Dry Bowser showed up just in time to reassure her otherwise she probably would have been an complete mess.

The indigo haired man couldn't help but chuckle to himself, seeing how the battle over some silly store in the mall blew up way out of proportion and became more about who's right, who's wrong before realizing that is what the true mastermind wanted. It was like how Junko Enoshima wanted for her Project Despair shit as she was turned on by the despair of others for some odd reason, then again she's an sadist. She didn't expect Makoto Naegi to cockblock her every move as he watched his classmates kill one another, become executed, escaped Hope's Peak Academy, went to the Island of Dangan Ronpa 2 and did the other stuff in the other game. Damn Eggy did a lot, goddamn it Naegi stop doing all the things.

Anyways, back to the matter at hand, the last time Chrom even saw Chromantha was after the groups all went their own separate ways. It was almost as if she disappeared from the eyes of the world, never to be seen again. The thought spooked the Ylissean king but sooner or later, he realized there was no point in dwelling on the pat. After all, it was better to keep moving forward anyways just like the whole slogan of Meet the Robinsons.

As Chrom began to head out the door, an voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Milord, where are you going?!"

Turning around, he saw it was none other than his trusty companion Frederick, otherwise known as Frederock. Frederick seemed to have that stern look on his face being concerned for Chrom's well-being just like the nanny caretaker he is.

"Did I tell you to leave the closet?!" Chrom said, being a bit irked.

"No Milord, but I must warn you whatever you're trying to do can be quite dangerous. In fact, it's too dangerous to go alone take me," said the brunet.

"Just get back in the closet!" the king ordered, sighing. He didn't have time to deal with Frederick and his bickering right now. After all, he had to go see that damn feels dragon.

"A-alright Milord," he replied back, going back into well, the closet.

With that, Chrom left his castle.

* * *

At the Temple of Souls, Grima appeared to be reading online newspaper articles on his iPad while sipping his espresso brewed coffee. He sighed, knowing it wasn't the same as reading from the good ol' newspaper but ever since Lucina decided to somehow confiscate all the newspapers and fishsticks in the world, he had no choice. Grima was always awake before his wife, seeing how she had the tendency to snore extremely loud in her sleep as the source to that will be the Hot Topic Krew Mini Special 2 as why am I even telling you guys this. This ain't no English class or no MLA, APA, or Chicago style shit. The fell dragon sometimes wondered if she should be evaluated for sleep apnea, seeing how one of the symptoms is excessive snoring throughout the night. It was one of his many concerns going on right now, seeing how he cherished his dear Kynthia above all else.

Speaking of his wife, she happened to be whipping them up some breakfast as he could hear her humming throughout the kitchen. One thing Grima could admit though that it was finally peaceful and quiet, especially seeing how his daughters finally moved out an while ago. The man did admit sometimes that he missed having them around, heck even arguing about the strangest things no one else even thinks of.

However, the tranquil was short lived as Chrom rang the doorbell. The fell dragon muttered a few words under his breath, remembering last night's conversation as went to get the door.

Chrom tapped his foot, finding the decoration to be quite peculiar. The Link statues were everywhere, almost staring at him as if they were piercing through his very soul. He didn't know what purpose they even served but if there was one thing he could think of, it was the fact that this place is creepier than an cementary and that's saying something!

Soon, Grima answered the door as he narrowed his eyes a bit before letting the fishstick, now fishstickless loving man of Ylisse step inside.

The first thing he noticed was more Link decorations, consisting of portraits, Link memorabilia, some of the prized possessions throughout the timelines, to even some figurines and an Toon Link nendroid. Chrom shuddered in thought wondering what caused an man to love an green Keebler elf so much not realizing that this wasn't Grima's thing, but an Lancia thing.

He quickly remembered that the Temple of Souls reflect someone's mindset and if they can somehow intertwine their thoughts with the manor, they can change the decoration however they pleased. Chrom begin to mediate, omming as it startled Grima, causing the white haired man to raise a brow in confusion.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he questioned.

A few minutes later, Chrom somehow linked with the Temple of Souls, now changing all of the Link interior and exterior to represent his mind, being fishsticks, hedgehogs and of course, more fishsticks.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS CHANGED THE DECORATIONS?!" Kynthia literally yelled from the kitchen. She seemed to be distressed now, not liking this one bit.

"Chrom, change it back NOW!" Grima ordered.

"Fine," he complained, changing it back from the newly developed Temple of Fishsticks back to the Temple of Souls, featuring Link from The Legend of Zelda series.

"That's better," she yelled out from the kitchen. "Hey Grigri? Who's even here anyways?! I heard the doorbell."

"It's an long story, but it's Chrom," he answered back.

"...Alright dear, I see that you guys are losing it with your no ~fishsticks~ and no ~newspapers~ shortage that you now have the desire to be buddies with one another. That's quite lovely," she said sarcastically.

"Is she alright?" Chrom asked, feeling like he came at an bad time.

"Cia's just upset right now probably from her lack of sleep she's been having for an while now," Grima said, replying to Chrom's question.

"I HEARD THAT!"

Grima just sighed, excusing himself as he went to go inside the kitchen to make up seeing how he always felt extremely bad when being reckless with his wife. Chrom heard them both giggling like school children as their usual flirting antics started flaring up. He cringed, remembering Robin during the New Year's Eve party as his memory blanked out during that day for some reason.

 _"TWEET TWEET."_

 _Chrom was chatting up an storm with Captain Falcon, Little Mac, Samus, Bayonetta and Mario as he munched on an fishstick, dipping in ketchup sauce for the sweet taste. They were discussing the Age of Ultron as it came to an abrupt stop from the random bird call noises._

 _"TWEET TWEET!"_

 _"CAW CAW!"_

 _"Um, what is even going on?" Samus asked, being confused beyond all hell. Little Mac shrugged in response as he drank out of his Hi-C juice box while Captain Falcon was holding an Samuel Adams beer._

 _"I don't even want to-a know," said Mario, shaking his head._

 _"It sounds like bird calls, bird mating calls to be correct," guessed the F-Zero racer._

 _"Whatever it is, it's fucking annoying and preventing me from eating my fishsticks in peace," complained Chrom. The noises thankfully ceased for now as they went back to discussing the movie, talking about which parts they've enjoyed, which should have been changed and overall, how sexy Scarlet Johanassen looked as Black Widow._

 _Soon, however the noises came back once more._

"TWEET TWEET!"

"CAW! CAW!"

 _"GODS DAMN IT!" Chrom cried, doing an table flip. This surprised the other five as they were taken aback from the king's sudden rage. He decided to go see who the hell was even doing the stupid mating calls or rather, roleplaying as birds. He entered the house as he heard the cries of the wild get louder and louder as he entered an room. There it was, Robin and Cia in an X-rated film position you can't know about because this is rated T for Teen and the other stuff is not allowed. Chrom's eye twitched as Robin was well, being an actual robin while Cia was an crow to represent the mask she wore back in the good ol'days of that one videogame._

 _"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?!" CHROM SCREAMS!_

Robin of course, narrowed his eyes as he ruined the mood.

 _"Gods damn it Chrom!" both of them said at once, ruining the sweet sweet love of can you feel the love tonight._

 _Never again, thought Google Chrome._

* * *

Soon after, Chrom decided to join the other two in the kitchen. Grima had his iPad out, reading another article before Kynthia told him to put it away, seeing how there was an guest in the house even if it was Chrom himself. The fell dragon manakete sighed, turning off his iPad as he began eating his meal.

Kynthia glanced over at Chrom who for some reason kept staring at her.

"Um, may I help you?" she asked.

"Uh, I didn't eat breakfast," said the Ylissean man.

"... I guess I can whip you up an plate if that's what you're requesting, right?" she replied.

Chrom nodded as he received an breakfast of champions. Kynthia sat back at the table as she took a sip of her morning java, looking at both men.

"So," she said, breaking the silence. "What exactly do you guys have to tell me?"

"Well, Chrom called me in the middle of the night and proposed that we should try to talk some sense into Lucina," Grima answered.

"So, I will like to propose an team! I already designed the costumes and everything," Chrom exclaimed. He took out his magical sketchbook with a picture of Mabel from Gravity Falls wearing one of her many famous sweaters. Opening it, he jumped to the page where it read 'Chrom and the Fishsticks' showing Chrom dressed as himself while the others were donning Fishstick costumes.

"This, is our team name and this is what you guys will be wearing," the Ylissean king proudly exclaimed.

The married couples eyes narrowed, exchanging looks of disdain with one another before giving their divided attention towards Chrom one more.

"Not only no, but hell no," Grima bluntly stated.

"Chrom, I appreciate all the hard work you possibly put into this but this isn't going to work sweetie," Kynthia said, giving her opinion. "In fact to be honest, no one's going to want to be dressed up as an fishstick. Next, I assume we're all going to get some corny job title as an fishstick while you go shout Chrom the Leader to initiate battle. Please, stop. Don't do that because in the long run, we'll make fools of ourselves. There is no need to yell job titles, no is no need for job titles let alone costumes. After all, that's so December 20th, 2014 when some kids thought their stupid store got ruined but in reality INSERT HOT TOPIC KREW ENDING SPOILERS HERE."

Chrom nodded, frowning as his idea was turned down. "Can we at least keep the group title though? I just saw Marina in concert two days ago and felt like an diamond."

"Fine."

"Honey don't help him!" Grima scolded, sighing. The last thing he needed was his wife having sympathy for the fishstick loving lord of Ylisse. Well, she always had sympathy for anyone given the fact that she's always been an softie.

"But Grigri, how would he change into an better person if no one's there to guide him! I mean, Ruben criticized him rather than just being nice and suggesting alternatives," whined the lavender haired woman.

"Fine, say now what about members?" he asked.

"Perhaps we should go out to the shops near the seaside," Kynthia suggested. "We might be bound to help Chrom catch some of his friends there."

"Good idea!" said Chrom. "I already texted two people who are interested in helping."

"And they are?"

"Shulk and Marth of course!"

"Oh sweet, the actor! Yess!"

"Honey no..."

Afterwards, the three finished breakfast and made their way towards the seaside shopping district.

* * *

 **in part 2, chrom finally gets his team and meets the purple man. also little do they know, some other shops have an problem with chrom as well but why!**

 **tune in to find out on part 2.**


	4. Cheepter 3: Establishing the Team Pt 2

**finally after getting over my writer's block, i managed to finish part 2 of cheepter 3! sometimes i like searching up weird stuff on twitter just to laugh at people who take crackfics, heck even trollfics seriously. its quite amusing i must admit.**

 **now then, lets begin shall we!**

* * *

 ** _Chrom and the Fishsticks_**  
 _Cheepter 3: Establishing the Team Part 2_

The second part of the cheepter starts off with none other than today's special guest, the Dragon Ball Z announcer. He holds the mircophone, getting ready to speak in his most dramatic voice ever.

"On the last episode of Chrom and the fishsticks, the Exalt hoped that his daughter's ruthless actions were in fact nothing but an dream however that proved to be false. As much as he hated it, he went over to the Temple of Souls to meet up with his nemesis Grima and his lovely wife. Through flashbacks of Robin's weird sex tactics to discussing the team, now the three embark off on an magic journey to establish... the team!" the announcer informed for disappearing away.

* * *

Rufure got into his fancy black Lamborghini Aventador, Chrom of course being made to sit in the back seat because the last thing he wanted was to get into the argument with the king himself and have him drive them off course. His wife took the passengers seat as everyone buckled up. The fell dragon manakete began backing out, turning up the radio as it played Talemono's "Overload" which of course disgusted Chrom. After all, he despised smug rich people who listened to hard electro music. So of course, the Ylissean king had the nerve to change the radio as it now played "Cooking by the Book" by Lazy Town featuring Little Jon.

"Chrom, what the fuck?!" Rufere complained, wondering what he even bothered changing the radio in the first place.

Before he could reply, Kynthia changed the radio station to one consisting of mainly New Wave which startled both men. Now the radio played "Eyes Without A Face" by Billy Idol.

"We aren't going to listen to any of your guys' options. In fact, GriGri, can we please listen to the New Wave station? Sometimes your blaring music gives me an headache," she stated.

Rufure frowned, being slightly miffed however gave into his wife's demands. After all, he didn't seem to mind New Wave either and plus, who didn't like great 80s hits playing.

Soon, they took off for the road, making their way towards Lake Seaside Dyre Dyre Hylia Hill Docks which is knowing simply as Seaside Hill in other fanfictions.

* * *

Little did Chrom and Grima know, they had another set of enemies who felt threatened by Chrom's business. These guys were the biggest, most richest people in the world owning the top of the top fast food franchises. An red headed clown looked at his fellow Fast Food companions as it displayed Chrom's business on the scream.

"Greetings fellow attendees, it appears we have an threat upon our hands," Ronald McDonald informed them. "Even though it may not appear like it, rumor has it those Exalted Fishsticks at Fishy Chrom's Fishsticks are proven to be the best in the entire world, even outdoing my glorious french fries!"

"How can that be possible?!" Burger King questioned, slamming his fists on the table. He couldn't believe it, an actual food from an local business that will outdo their might corporations.

"Just looking at that man's ill-decorated establishment is making me sick," said Wendy, making an gagging nose.

"I wonder how long will it be until he makes an second establishment?!" questioned Jack from you know, Jack in the Box.

"Akording to sources, Krom won't be able to maek money. The fishstiks of the world are gone," informed the famous Christain cow, Chik-fil-A Cow. He had an sign wrapped around him saying the famous 'Eat Moar Chikin' line.

"That's good however, there's another thing," said Papa John of Papa John's pizza. "He's trying to get them back!"

"How can he get them back if they took all of the fishsticks," exclaimed the Taco Bell dog in his stereotypical, racial stereotype Mexican accent obviously created by teh white ppl.

"Well, rumor has it he's establishing an team of some sorts, you know, the one that's like those ruffian terrorists from an year ago," answered Jared Fogle, you know, Jared from Subway.

"What?! I'm GOING TO MCFREAKIN LOSE IT HERE!" Ronald McDonald yelled, jumping on the table.

"Perhaps I could be of some help."

The fast foods turned around towards the source as it reveled an elegantly dressed elderly man who wore white. It was none other than Colonel Sanders himself, the guy who owns KFC. All of the fast foods gasped as they remembered his godly kamisama powers. He truly was the king of chicken and of course, managed to get married to the great Hylia herself, producing an certain someone who was on Chrom's side.

"Colonel, what do you suggest?" asked Wendy.

"Well, their little local establishment could use some real business," he stated. "In fact, while we try to stop this idiot king from obtaining his goal, let's open up additional fast food chains near the seaside there as well. That way, we will run him and his little friends... out of business."

Ronald McDonald grinned evilly as the group of menacing fast food heads laughed like maniacs.

* * *

The trio finally arrived at their destination as Rufure parked his car in the rich plaza which was heavily guarded. Chrom muttered something about stupid rich people when he got out as the two walked alongside one another. Kynthia seemed to be humming the tune to Peter Schlling's "Major Tom" as it was on during the car ride before they parked.

Soon, they arrived at the beach side outlet plaza which was filled with all of the local businesses. It was one of the many things the trio admired as it wasn't infested by any major corporations... for now.

"Don't you just love coming here," the goddess exclaimed, "It's really cute to see all of the various local businesses. People always go to chain owned shops but personally, I feel that you get your money's worth if you shop local."

"I agree," said Chrom. "It's better to support your local small businesses... unlike an certain FEELS dragon, " he added, making an snide remark towards Grima.

"Chrom, do you want me to help you or not!" the white haired man shot back, rolling his eyes.

"GriGri, Chrom, please stop acting like such children! If you want to get your fishsticks and newspapers back, you ought to learn how to get along right now. We're all God's children after all..." Kynthia informed them, which of course Chrom rolled his eyes.

"God isn't real!"

Kynthia gasped as Grima shot him an glare however, something tackled Chrom right as he just said that. There he was, the one and only lovable Riki as he heard what Chrom said about his holy savior.

"Riki HATE ATHEISTS! RIKI KILL CHROM!" the Nopon yelled.

The married couple watched the cute Nopon pounce furiously on Chrom before Rufure decided the Exalt had enough beating up for the day. An chuckle was heard behind them as everyone glanced over at the source.

"I see Chrom hasn't changed an bit."

It revealed none other than the famous jack of all trades, Dry Bowser himself! He appeared to be sipping on some lemonade he just purchased from Lilligant's Lemonade Stand.

"Oh if it isn't our old science teacher Dry Bowser," Rufure greeted, shaking hands with the dry man himself. "How do you fair on this fine day?"

"I'm doing good. Rumor has it that an lot of these local business owners are getting riled up about something. They recently mentioned an Wendy's being built near the food court here as everyone decided to flock to it for some reason, even though honestly why eat something you can easily get near your house if you're out here at Seaside?" the dry man explained.

"... That sounds awful," Kynthia replied, seeming kind of worried now. "First there's the whole kidnapping of fishsticks("Don't forget the newspapers honey!")... I was getting to that GriGri, please. Anyways, now it appears that major corporations discovered this location... ah geez, like I need to deal with that-!"

Before she could finish, they heard an loud explosion nearby as it appeared the recently built Wendy's exploded. This caused everyone to slightly jump, as it looked like it came from the food court near them!

"... We should go check that out!" Chrom suggested. Riki appeared to have gotten an special brew from none other than The Roost cafe as the Nopon happily took sips before following them since he had nothing else better to do.

* * *

Palutena seemed to be shopping with none other than Pit as Dark Pit and Lucas parted ways from them, going to the Hot Topic outlet. Shortly after, as they got closer, another explosion went off, startling the green haired goddess.

"What was that Lady Palutena?!" Pit questioned.

"Beats me. Either someone is angry because they were named something like Roger or there might be another evil presence coming up ahead Pit," she answered back. Glancing over, it revealed that the next place that got blown up was none other than HOT TOPIC! Dark Pit and Lucas froze, their jaws dropping as they couldn't believe it. Who would be horrible enough to even bomb their goth paradise out of all things!

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" yelled Dark Pit, being his classic, edgy now fourteen year old self.

"... Who the hell would seriously bomb Hot Topic out of all places? Aren't we done with this shit already?!" whined Lucas, sighing in disbelief. The two decided to go to Spencer's instead in the meantime of course, after getting some lemonade of course. After all, the drink was perfect for the hot weather.

As the couple left, another boy who looked around Pit's age watched them take off, cackling to himself.

"What kind of fucking morons even love Hot Topic?! I mean, fuck that store for crying outloud and fuck that edgy piece of shit for never inviting me into his club. Ha, like I'd join anythings," the mysterious punk thought to himself out loud. Yet, as he chuckled once more, he didn't notice an angry Pit behind him.

"So you're the evil demon who bombed Hot Topic?!" questioned the angel. "Why did you do it?! You know bombing places is illegal, just like how drinking hardcore Capri-sun is illegal."

"... People still drink Capri-sun?" the arrogant demon answered. It was none other than the prince of the Netherworld Laharl himself. He didn't seem amused as Pit somehow decided to cuff their arms together.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he retorted, questioning the angel.

"Keeping an eye on you! You're nothing but trouble and plus, Lady Palutena will get you too... right Lady Palutena?"

Pit turned around just to notice that his goddess took off, leaving him alone with Laharl.

CD-i Mario came out of nowhere as he owned the famous Toaster store. "You know what they say, all toasters toast toast!"

"Shut the fuck up," Laharl said, which of course, received an slap from the angel himself.

"Don't insult the wise CD-i Mario like that!"

The two boys began to quarrel with one another as the fat Mario sighed.

"It's been one of those days."

* * *

It turned out Morshu was the one who blew up the Wendy's as he returned to his beloved ice cream stand. Chrom felt like having some ice cream so he decided to rush over make an purchase. He took his debit card with him, leaving behind his wallet as it revealed an picture of Chrom posing with an fishstick.

Rufure informed Dry Bowser about the whole escapade that was currently going on to include Lucina joining the devious Yoshi and Co. to completely destroy Chrom's newest business, which was closed for the day due to his menu only being fishsticks.

Being rather curious, Dry Bowser decided to take an glimpse at his wallet photos as it revealed nothing but Chrom with either fishsticks, hedgehog ladies or both.

"Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, you want it, it's yours my friend as long as you have enough rupees," Morshu greeted. Of course he felt on the edge when he saw the king, exchanging an few words with Fat Pikachu and Gay Piplup.

"Do you have Fishstick flavored ice cream?" Chrom asked, hoping that the fat man did.

"Mmmm no! In fact, aren't you that one guy who could possibly wipe out all businesses here at Seaside?" he brought up, questioning the indigo haired man.

"I just want to be friends!" Chrom whined. He really didn't need no more enemies. As he was about to walk away, Chrom noticed an sign which read "NO LANCIAS' ALLOWED." Realizing he could win his first local business partner and ally, he decided to bring up his favorite subject.

"That fucking feels dragon is nothing but pain, thinking he's better than average joe's like you and me because he's rich, drives an Lamborghini Aventador, is an big shot at Nasa and overall married an rich woman. It makes me sick," Chrom muttered.

"...You're talking about Grima, otherwise known as Rufure(or Reflet) Lancia right?" Morshu questioned, his tone going dark as he mentioned his last name.

"Yes! I can't stand him! He acts like he's better than everyone else and speaks down to people like us as if we're stupid!" the king replied, rambling on.

"Well, Lancias' are known for being extremely awful after all. I mean, look at them, talking over from the distance. Just watching them laugh makes me sick," Morshu said, eyeing both Kynthia and Rufure. Apparently they were talking with Shulk and Marth as well as they had planned to meet up at the local food court dubbed as The Stand. It consisted of delicious snacks and eateries consisting of Petey Piranha's Popcorn Parlor, The Soggy Pretzel, The Ocean Palace Burger Paradise, Roll's Chicken Stand, Lilligant's Lemonade Stand, the good ol' Krusty Krab, Waluigi's Taco Stand to even Dr. Ivo Robotnik's Tea Stand.

Before Chrom replied, right in front of him was the little 12-month old Marc as they stared at one another. The young toddler had an pacifier in his mouth, holding onto his Skitty plush in his right hand while in his left hand, appeared to be holding an lighter?

"Oh gods, it's the demon child!" Chrom gasped.

Morshu had to quickly use his wits, knowing that Baby Marc having an lighter was extremely bad news. He knew that child was none other than an dreaded Lancia, even if his mother took on the Daraen last name. Some say as if he was Maggie Simpson brought to life, seeing how she isn't afraid to shoot down or hurt people. Soon, he noticed his trusty rope on the side of the corner as he grabbed it, striking an pose like Indiana Jones himself!

"Rope!" he said, creating an lasso as he manage to grab the lighter out of the young child's hands however, Baby Marc fell down and like all babies, began crying. Chrom and Morshu high-fived one another, not realizing an dark, purple energy behind them as it was none other than Morshu's greatest nemesis, Cia Lancia Daraen herself.

"What did you do to my little angel?!" she asked darkly, almost getting ready to start an Stand herself, an Jojo's Bizarre Adventure style Stand of course. Morshu of course, rolled his eyes in response while Fat Pikachu shook his head. Meanwhile, Gay Piplup felt awful for his friend's behavior so he rushed over to comfort the small child, even handing him some free, soft served frozen yogurt.

"Your "angel" literally almost decided to set the food court on fire!" Morshu replied, giving her lip. Even if she changed and wasn't goth anymore, he still hated her. After all, there were some things that could never be amended which included the death of his beloved mother.

"I told you that baby is evil!" Chrom added, siding with Morshu.

Cia rolled her eyes as she wiped off Morgan's face which was full of butter from Petey Piranha's popcorn. Robin made his way over towards his wife, pushing the stroller as little Ravio looked around. He handed his wife an soft drink from the place as she slurped on it. As they argued, Relicanth made his way through, pushing his cart of his famous soggy pretzel's.

"As for someone who made an new eatery establishment, you sure don't treat potential customers politely," he stated. He still seemed an bit bitter that Chrom wasn't afraid to talk about his love of fish sticks, hell, eat them right in front of him as the Pokemon was an fish himself.

"Chrom does whatever he wants, whether it's chrome things or twerking," he said, thrusting his hips. Robin just cringed as he shook his head.

Kynthia wondered what was even taking the king so long to order some ice cream out of all things. She got up and made her way toward's the parlor, just to see her grandson's eyes red from crying his little heart out. Marc was calm now, seeing how he had an messy face as he was nomming on the soft served yogurt Gay Piplup handed him.

She rushed over to her grandchild and wiped his face with an handkerchief as she picked him up and held him before glaring at Chrom and Morshu. She already knew who was behind this as she was still upset at Cia for disobeying her orders by going to the Forbidden Timeline an year ago. So now she had an enemy who hated her even though it was all Cia's fault.

"Chrom, instead of arguing with my daughter and son-in-law with that shopkeeper you should be helping us find team members!" she scolded him. "Don't make me take out the holy water on you!"

Cia rolled her eyes, finding her overbearing mother to be an pain sometimes. That was one thing that both Cia and Morshu could agree on was that Kynthia needed less of Vitamin Church and more of keeping her religious views to herself.

"Aren't you better off at eating at an shitty establishment like Chik-fil-A or something?" Morshu asked, hating how Chik-fil-A supported those who were against hunks like Gay Piplup.

"Just because I'm religious doesn't mean I hate people, geez. I don't eat from food establishments that take God's words wrong and make homophobic statements and actions thank you very much," she said, getting offended. Soon however, she heard an laughter behind her as it was none other than the Gerudo King himself, Ganondorf, who secretly was an weeaboo.

"Well, well, well looks like God's Girl is speaking of an non-existent prophet," he said, taunting her. Grima of course rushed over as Dry Bowser noticed something. Minus the younger crowd and Morshu, this was almost like watching over an adult field trip. He sighed as he somehow managed to get everyone to stop acting like children. It was almost becoming science class all over again.

Shulk and Marth just watched as they observed the adults acting like children. It was sad to watch Dry Bowser have to even go low like that.

* * *

Palutena came out of Victoria's Secret as she ran into none other than Phosphora who had just came out of the American Eagle Outlet. They made eye contact with one another before waving. After the whole ordeal with the groups, the former goddess group realized they were all being childish with one another so thus, made up. It sickened bad guys like Icarus before he was arrested by CIA and thus taken to Guantanamo Bay.

"Hey Palutena! Didn't expect to see you here!" the blonde deity greeted!

"The same can go for you! Apparently there's been an lot of explosions going off today," she exclaimed.

Shortly after, Toadette noticed the two girls as she rushed over, greeting them. She just came out of Mummipokey's Artifact Base.

"Say, when did Seaside recently get places like Victoria's Secret and American Eagle anyways?" questioned Toadette.

"I honestly don't know but it's like it just happened over night," answered the goddess.

"I find it great! Finally, this place is becoming more fashionable and upscale!" said Phosphora.

"But.. but guys, if more places keep coming, then the local businesses will be swept away! That's not good at all!" Toadette exclaimed, not wanting these small guys to get dominated by bigger corporations. "Rumor has it they're even planning on building an mall next to this already established outlet mall which came out of nowhere!"

"A mall? Sweet!" Phosphora beamed, fist pumping. Palutena finally was able to understand why it made Toadette upset, yet grew concerned. She loved all of these local businesses and had fun talking to their owners. The last thing the Goddess of Light wanted to see was them out on the streets. Soon, her stomached growled as she realized she forgot to eat breakfast this morning.

"Say, anyone hungry?" she asked.

"I am!"

"Me too!"

The three girls made their way towards the stand to get either some chicken, soggy pretzels, burgers, you name it!

* * *

"Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay!"

Ness went on for ten minutes as Pit tried to get the demon to confess why he blew up Hot Topic in the first place. Even if the angel knew that store was garbage his younger twin loved it. He didn't like anyone hurting Pittoo or anything he adored so he wanted to get back at Laharl, even if it means enduring Ness's Okeys forever.

Soon, the blue haired prince began growing an massive headache as if he couldn't take it anymore.

"Okay, okay! I give up!" he screeched. Laharl made an mental note to add the Onett boy's taunt to the list of irritating weaknesses as he finally confessed why he blew up Hot Topic. He admit it was an shitty store and just wanted to see it done and over with.

Pit wasn't impressed as he kept the demon locked onto him as he decided to get some popcorn with Ness, dragging Laharl with them whether he liked it or not. They passed by an strange store as Ness glanced over.

"Build A My-Unit? That's new!" he said, staring.

"Isn't it neat, nya ha ha!" It revealed none other than Henry the Mage and his hot boyfriend Roben, the Robin clone.

"In fact, that is how I was made," said Roben. "This place is create for making boyfriends, heck if you want to give birth to said unit too, they can just inject you with this serum. Any gender applies as it has endless boundaries. Heck, you can customize the unit based on height, face, hair color and hair style. Pretty cool huh?"

"That is kind of neat," said Ness. He know knew why Robin was personally creeped out by Roben now.

* * *

Back at the food court, the tension finally died down as the majority of Chrom's group so far huddled over to check out Kynthia's grandchildren. Even Rufure was playing with them, which scared the Exalt. He hated seeing Grima so happy because in his eyes, the fell dragon deserved to be dead. Dry Bowser looked at him, sighing.

"Chrom, I've heard what happened to your business," he said.

"Really?! Isn't it awful!" he exclaimed back.

"Of course but I have an good feeling why Lucina might have confiscated all of the fishsticks in the world." With those words, he took out Chrom's wallet, revealing the pictures he had. Chrom didn't know where his former science teacher was going with this. Next, he took out Grima's wallet as he revealed the pictures as it consisted of his wife, daughters back when they were younger to include Shia, heck even his grandchildren.

"What is wrong here?" Dry Bowser asked, hoping that Chrom at least would catch on.

"Well, feels dragon doesn't know how to have fun, that's what!" he replied bitterly.

"Wrong! Lucina feels neglected. She feels that you value chrome, hedgehogs and fishsticks over her, your son and even your ex-wife. Grima on the other hand, as much as you despise him and the damage he's done to Ylisse in the past, he cares for his family. He talks about them with pride and joy every time someone brings them up. Lucina feels that you're not proud of her, thus her actions," he thoroughly explained.

"I see..."

Before Chrom could reply, they were none other met up with Palutena, Phosphora and Toadette on one side and Ness, Pit and the new face which was Laharl on the other. Dry Bowser got up, making his leave before an older man with wacky white hair showed up. It was none other than Doc Brown from Back to the Future, otherwise known as the creator of first time machine which is built out of his DeLorean sports car.

"Doc Brown, what are you doing here?" asked the dry man.

"Well, I heard Chrom could use some help. So of course, I will assist him and his Fishsticks."

"Fishsticks...?"

"We are now... Chrom and the Fishsticks!" the king declared, recieving an couple of groans. Meanwhile those like Pit, Ness, Shulk and Marth were kind enough to at least support him. Doc Brown was neutral about the name.

"So, this group I'm now stuck in has some idiot king, an used to be cool fell dragon who now complains too much due giving up his evil ways, an big boobed goddess, an teeny bopper goddess, an fat goddess, some mushroom, the fucking okey kid, an desert weeaboo, that guy from the 80s film, the shitty director, an Christian furby, the overrated actor and this fucking annoying angel," Laharl complained. He wished Flonne, Etna, anyone would show up and come to his rescue at some point.

Noticing that he was an demon, thus possibly part of Satan's Legions, Kynthia threw holy water at Laharl as he screeched.

"Repent sinner!" she yelled. She was no different than Libra who always holy watered her husband every chance he got. Soon after, they all realized they could use some food.

"Hey, where should we get food from?" asked Pit.

"Well, there's this new chicken place that just opened up, perhaps we can try out Roll's Chicken Stand," suggested Phosphora. Every nodded as they wanted to support Roll's local business.

"Hearing about these local businesses almost makes me want to run my own," Kynthia exclaimed, "But I honestly don't know what I'll even do."

"How about no," said Laharl who regained his senses.

"Let's get an couple of family dinner deals!" suggested Chrom.

"Oh get spicy!" said Ganondorf.

"No! Mild! I can't handle spicy!" Kynthia whined. Ganondorf looked at her, shaking his head.

"White people," Ganondorf muttered under his breath.

As the newly established groups argued over chicken flavors while Dry Bowser and the Daraen family watched, ittle did they know, Chrom and his Fishsticks had attracted their very first enemy as he glared behind his taco stand.

Waluigi wanted to mess with Chrom.

* * *

 **thats it!**

 **in the next chapter, it will be the first battle against waluigi and his tacos! will chrom prevail, will he even get his allies to work or does dry bowser need to baby sit them seeing how six of the members are in fact, his former high school students.**

 **note that if youre going an group fic and want to use this au team, just abbreviate them as CatF Chrom for example, seeing how it will help you differ from the chrom in say the htk vs the one from this fic. same with htk cia differing from catf cia, you get the hint.**

 **heres the team roster for those who need an refresher**

 **Chrom and the Fishsticks roster**

Chrom [Leader]  
Rufure aka the fell dragon Grima  
Kynthia [Grima literally wouldn't join unless his wife is in the group]  
Shulk  
Marth  
Palutena  
Pit  
Phosphora  
Ganondorf [He is an closet weeaboo]  
Ness [likes to say Okay a lot]  
Laharl  
Doc Brown [aka that guy from Back to the Future!]  
Riki  
Toadette

 **and also i love all the ideas! they are definitely going to universal with the help of an certain hare sometime in the future. after all, its chroms wacky journey to get fishsticks(and newspapers) back!**

 **should any other wacky object be confiscated by the evil yoshi and co. as well? if so, suggest it please!**


	5. Cheepter 4: Battle With the Purple Man

**_Chrom and the Fishsticks_**  
 _Cheepter 4: The Battle With the Purple Man_

"So, let me guess, no chicken?" Toadette asked politely. She seemed kind of bummed since she really wanted to try out Roll's Chicken Stand. It was recently built and the mushroom girl wanted to see if it was good or not.

"Nope, let's just say those who wanted MILD ruined it," Chrom complained, of course while taking an stab at Grima.

Rufure just rolled his eyes at Chrom's stupidity. Ever since the whole charade, they got themselves banned from Roll's Chicken Stand. So, not only did they have disappointed and hungry team members it didn't help that everyone caught an case of vitamin salt.

"Well, if you would have just let me handle everything none of this bullshit would have happened CHROM!" the fell dragon snapped. He tried his best to resist the urge to beat the shit out of him as the ladies just stared at him sighing.

"Now, now fellows there's no need for all of this ruckus," Doc Brown exclaimed, using his quick wits to help them forgot about this whole ordeal. "There are other choices around here! There's the burger joint over there," he added, pointing at none other than The Ocean Palace Burger Paradise and the Krusty Krab.

"Nah, too greasy," Phosphora replied, shaking her head.

"...Wait, how did an place that's supposed to be under the sea get on the land?" questioned Ness, wondering how Spongebob and co. were even living right now.

"Hmm, how about some tacos? I've been actually craving some since I got here," exclaimed Palutena as she looked over towards Pit who still had Laharl cuffed onto him for some reason.

"Uh, Pit shouldn't you uncuff him now? Don't you think he's had enough?" Ness questioned, kind of feeling sorry for Laharl now.

"... Fine."

Before Pit could uncuff him, Laharl accidentally slipped up once more, causing the angel to once again, keep him handcuffed to him.

"Abraham Lincoln fucking sucks."

"WHAT. DID. YOU. JUST. SAY?!" PIT YELLEDS.

"You heard me. He's fucking awful, in fact, all of the presidents could kiss the fattest part of my ass," Laharl smirked, being the smug edgy demon child he is.

Soon, they started rough housing as Palutena just giggled, being slightly amused by all this. Meanwhile Shulk seemed to try his best to pry them off one another, which of course resulted him in getting hurt.

"Anyways, where is this taco place anyways?" Marth asked, looking around.

"Last time I recall it used to be where the Krusty Krab is now located at," Toadette answered.

* * *

As they talked about what they wanted or where the taco place was even located at, Waluigi glanced over at them from his taco stand, glaring under his hat. He couldn't believe it. First, this man decides to make an shitty business based off of fishsticks out of all things, now they want to feel pity for his place! Waluigi hated being an charity case, seeing how he was perfectly running his taco stand since 2012.

During those times, he's been pushed around, even having to rebuild his stand because of new establishments taking over his terrority. He for one was sick of it and plus, he really just couldn't stand Chrom. Something about the king bothered him whether it be about his ironic rants against rich people or just because he really wouldn't shut the fuck up about fishsticks and their fishy stick ways.

It almost reminded him of an certain demon and his sardines and how he loved the sardines and their sardiny ways. He didn't understand the hype about fish honestly when there in fact, were better tasting meats out there.

So, Waluigi proposed an plan that he himself will take down Chrom and the Fishsticks before anyone else can however, noticed an Taco Bell soon to take over his location.

"WAA! What is this bullshit?!" he bitterly muttered to himself. So of course, he kicked down the sign wanting nothing to do with the shitty American fast food chain that sold tacos. Just when the poor grump thought things couldn't get any worse for him, all the sudden an stage magically showed up out of nowhere as it revealed none other than the redhead Wendy, Birdie the Early Bird and the new Hamburglar, otherwise just known as Macklemore hitting rock bottom. The trio wore some colorful outfits as suddenly the reveal of more fast food restaurants emerged out of nowhere.

"Hello everyone!" greeted Wendy. "Are you ready for food that actually will rock your socks off? Happy people who will be delighted to serve you instead of being an foul purple Grinch! Now worry no longer, your favorite franchises are now here at Lake Seaside Dyre Dyre Hylia Hill Docks which this place will soon turn into an outstanding outlet mall!"

The crowd roared, which of course, worried Toadette. She didn't want to see her friends go out of business due to these huge corporations. After the cheers ceased, Wendy continued her introduction once more.

"Now, let's eat to the beat!"

An instrumental version of the "Fast Food Song" by the Fast Food Rockers begins to blare out from the stereo as Wendy, Birdie and Hamburglar Macklemore assumed their positions and began dancing.

 **Wendy, Birdie and Hamburglar Macklemore**  
 ** _"Fast Food Song"_**

 **Wendy: Can I take your order please?**  
 **Birdie: Let's eat to the beat**

 ** _(Chorus)_**

 **A pizza hut a pizza hut**  
 **Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut**  
 **A pizza hut a pizza hut**  
 **Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut**  
 **McDonalds McDonalds**  
 **Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut**  
 **McDonalds McDonalds**  
 **Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut**

Waluigi slapped himself as he watched their performance. He couldn't believe the nerve of this huge corporations. He thought it was bad enough having Mr. Krabs, Morshu and even Chrom around but this was just all too much for the poor man. He began tapping his foot, glancing over at his watch from time to time to wonder when this horrible nightmare will end.

Meanwhile Toadette just wondered what was going on as she looked dumbfounded.

 **Wendy: You like it you love it**  
 **You know you really want it**  
 **The voices I hear**  
 **Whenever you're around**  
 **I want it I need it**  
 **Nothing else can beat it**  
 **Hot and spicy**  
 **Whenever I'm in town (mm mm)**

"Now that I think about it, this song seems extremely sexual and not in the pleasing way either," Doc Brown stated. He wondered who in the world even would write such an thing, especially masking sexual intercourse as food innuendos. Clever yet creepy if you think about how kids in elementary schools do this sort of dance.

 **Birdie: Enticing exciting**  
 **Aroma so inviting**  
 **And when it hits**  
 **Me, I wanna take you home**  
 **Trust me you must see**  
 **Just what you're doing to me**

"What kind of hell lyrics are these?!" Morshu questioned, obviously tempted to blow up the entire stage however didn't want to deal with the cops. He didn't need to be dealing with high speed chases once more.

"Whatever they are, they aren't really creative," said Fat Pikachu as he expressed his opinion on the song.

"Am I the only one who finds that McDonald's bird girl creepy?" said Gay Piplup, not even knowing her name. Heck not even I knew what her name even was or what purpose her character served until I Google'd it.

 **Driving me crazy**  
 **Hungry to the bone**  
 **I think of you and lick my lips**  
 **You've got the taste I can't resist**  
 **Can't resist - can't resist**  
 **Wendy: Let's eat to the beat**

The chorus repeats once more as the entire gang stared in awe while some people got brainwashed by it's catchy, techno tune.

 **Birdie: Would you like that to go?**  
 **Wendy: Any sauces?**

 **You're so sweet and you're neat**  
 **You knock me off my two feet**  
 **You're chunky and hunky**  
 **I'm coming back for more (Grimace)**

Soon, the purple friendly creature from McDonald and Friends showed up. To this day, no one knew that Grimace even was or what he even was supposed to be. Chrom assumed him to be an giant purple testicle while Pit thought of him to be some alien. Dry Bowser sighed, muttering an few curse words under his breath as this whole thing got crazy as he wondered why he was even starring in another crackfic once more.

 **Wendy: Your taste all embraces**  
 **I gotta sing your praises**  
 **Just savour the flavours**  
 **Waiting at your door**

Waluigi was starting to grow impatient, feeling that this song has gone on for too long. The lanky purple man began looking for the switch to put an end to this charade once and for all, just for his poor stand to get demolished once more.

"WAA!" he screamed.

It turns out the evil Taco Bell Dog bulldozed his poor taco stand. It didn't matter since he can easily rebuild again yet it was really cruel of the chihuahua to do so. Waluigi began having it enough with all of these stands and even more so, these big businesses. It was time that there was an meeting to be called about this as he sent an message, informing Petey Piranha, Morshu, Relicanth to even AtosH Robotnik.

 **Birdie: I think of you and lick my lips**  
 **You've got the taste I can't resist**  
 **Can't resist - can't resist**  
 **Wendy: Let's eat to the beat**

The chorus repeat itself once more as it lured almost the entire mall into an trance to include the mayor of Station Square, Professor Oak. Everyone danced along to the evil song while Chrom began mouthing an few words, most likely insults towards Rufure's direction. Soon another explosion was heard as it caused the gang to jump and fall into place.

"I'll save you Lady Palutena!" Pit cried as Laharl's butt landed onto of his face instead. Palutena didn't even fall as she managed to be floating while Chrom fell flat on his face before being dog piled on by everyone else with Toadette being the cherry on the top.

It turns out, Morshu and his friends blew up Roll's Chicken Stand for no reason as it caused the poor robot girl to cry before she and her friends began rebuilding it once more.

"Gaursh, that's an lot of explosions today, hyuck," said Goofy, rubbing off the ashes from his face.

 **Wendy: Does anyone fancy a shake?**  
 **Birdie: Shake**  
 **Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh**  
 **Shake it to the left - Shake it to the right - Let's shake**  
 **Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh**

Shulk got back up, following the dance just to receive an tap on the arm from a frowning Marth.

"Shulk, what are you doing?!" Marth questioned his boyfriend.

"The song is pretty catchy," whined the Monado Boy.

 **Wendy: I think of you and lick my lips**  
 **You've got the taste I can't resist**  
 **Can't resist - can't resist**  
 **Let's eat to the beat**

As the chorus went on, suddenly the music stopped blaring as it displayed an angry Waluigi holding the cords.

"THE SHOW IS NOW OVER! MOVE ALONG AND GET THE HELL OUT!" he yelled.

Wendy rolled her eyes as she shook her head. "Who the hell do you think you are, ugly?" she said, being an snobbish Pippi Longstocking ripoff.

"Someone who's been here longer than you ever have!" Waluigi retorted back. Soon, he took out the famous Dinner Blaster 9000 as everyone gasped.

"How the hell did he get that from CD-i Hyrule?!" exclaimed Morshu. He knew King Harkinian wasn't one to easily hand down his weapons or hell, even lend them to anyone else. So how Waluigi even managed to sneak in past the security system and Fari surprised him.

Waluigi began shooting the area with the Dinner Blaster 9000 as everyone screamed. The evil Fast Foods luckily had an barrier as KFC teleported his allies out of there before any of them were even struck.

"Drats, we need more allies!" whined Wendy.

"How about we hire Bane?" Humburglar Macklemore suggested.

"Nah, he's too big," she complained.

"For you," the man replied back.

* * *

As the fast foods argued, Doc Brown nudged both Grima and Chrom, telling them to quickly tell Waluigi that they want to help them get back the Seaside from the evil corporations. After all, they needed to be present at the meeting bound to happen soon otherwise they would never know that they are actually allies and not enemies as everyone else attended.

"NOOO! ME MONEY!" Krabs cried as his beloved money barrel was shot by Waluigi.

"Someone stop this madness," Squidward said sarcastly. Soon, his beloved clarinet was shot, causing the man to scream in horror as he jumped into his boss' arms.

"SAVE ME MR. KRABS!" he cried.

"You're on your own Squidward! It's every man for themselves!" Krabs replied back as he dropped him.

Waluigi continued to shoot the dinner blaster as Chrom used his magical chrome powers and did an Chrom cyclone which pretty much consisted of him trying to throw Grima at the purple man yet the fell dragon held onto him, causing both of them to fly into Waluigi himself.

The dinner blaster fell out of his hands as it almost landed on the ground, however Fat Pikachu quickly rescued the weapon by having it land on an pillow. Soon after, he grabbed it and handed it over to Morshu as they were going to return it back to its rightful owner.

The man turned towards the two who hit them, giving them quite the nasty glare.

"What the hell do you two brats want?!" he said, being awfully salty today then again, I'd be pissed too if someone kept ruining my business opportunities.

"Well, we need to tell you that we're not enemies," said Chrom. "I know you didn't like me when I decided to share my Exalted Fishsticks yet I need you and your tacos to aid our cause.

"Wah! If you were truly to be trusted, then why the hell would you idiots lunge yourselves into me!" questioned Waluigi. He was already having an bad day enough as it is.

"Because Chrom's an fucking moron," Grima simply replied.

"How am I to trust both of you if one of your allies is RELATED TO THE ENEMY!" he yelled, causing everyone to gasp. Things almost began going chaotic as that Spongebob marching band episode as the man took out his tennis racket and served.

"Oka-OUCH!" Ness cried, getting hit by one of Waluigi's fast serves. It turned out that he was extremely angered and thus, the only way to get him to stop was well, to fight him.

"How would we fend the evil purple man?! He seems to really be angry with the whole idea of rescuing Chrom's business," Phosphora said, glancing at the raging Waluigi.

"Don't you guys mean more of misunderstood?" said Dry Bowser but unfortunately, he was ignored. Thankfully Toadette heard what he had to say and agreed with the dry man.

"I got it!" Ganondorf said, punching his own palm before pointing up. Out of nowhere, Captain Falcon rose with his DJ set alongside the king of evil's greatest companions, Ghirahim and Zant.

"Hit that funky music white boy!" the Gerudo ordered as Captain Falcon started up the greatest tune in the world known to weeaboos. Caramelldansen started playing, stopping everyone in their tracks as Kynthia's eye twitched. She slowly reached for the hearing aid in her right ear, turning it off.

"Someone kill me," murmured Dry Bowser. Boy he was going to need some good whiskey after all this was done.

"God, save me from this eternal damnation that is... Caramelldansen..." Kynthia said, trying her best to suppress the noise in her left ear.

"Oh dear Goddesses not this..." Ghirahim muttered, rolling his eyes.

Zant nudged him and Ghirahim did an sudden one-eighty as he beamed in delight.

"Oh, I mean I LOVE THIS SONG! IT'S TOTALLY THE JAM OF BOTH MASTER AND LORD GHIRAHIM!" said the demon ham.

The two villains joined Ganondorf in the sacred weeaboo dance, moving their hips far and wide as they all looked ridiculous.

"GAH! WHAT IS THIS?!" Waluigi cried, cringing in absolute horror! He's never seen anything like it at all and even worse, the more people that joined, the more it made him want to give up and wallow in his own despair. He couldn't actually believe obnoxious people like that actually exist, then again, he was too busy being an art teacher with Ridley fucking up everything.

Chrom started to join in and do the otaku dance as well while Grima covered his ears. Soon after, he was followed on by Shulk, Riki, Pit, Ness, Paula, and even Lady Palutena. Of course, Laharl gave off an look of horror as he was still stuck to Pit, causing him to get nudged by the angel in the process to join him for the silly dance.

"What the fuck are you guys doing?!" Phosphora questioned, wanting nothing to do with the dance at all.

Toadette placed some high tech goggles on her head, turning it on. "It appears that the weeaboo hit is making our enemy extremely uncomfortable. The most people that join, the most likely he will live," she exclaimed.

"You've got to be fucking kidding," said Rufure.

"Sadly, I'm not kidding," the mushroom girl replied.

"Ta ngra steg t vnster lyssna och lr missa inte chansen nu r vi hr med Caramelldansen," sang Weeaboo Ganondorf. From an far away distance, Link's cries were heard while Toon Link was dying for the second time. Soon, the wailing of the Links were heard all over as the evil king now donned an beautiful hime dress. He took out an magical girl wand, twirling around as he was going to penetrate Waluigi back to wherever the hell he was even born.

Gay Piplup did an double take as he rubbed his eyes. "What in the world am I even seeing?!" he exclaimed.

"Well, something more gayer than you, that's for sure," Fat Pikachu answered, being honest. The penguin Pokemon nodded his head in response, agreeing with his tubby friend.

"Whatever in the world that's going on, remind me to kick Chrom's butt later on," said Sandy Cheeks, cringing.

Soon after, Waluigi couldn't take it anymore as the song finally ended. He gave up, waving an white flag as Morshu approached the gang. He leaned over into Chrom's ear, whispering some good advice.

"Chrom, never do that ridiculous weeaboo dance ever MMMMM again!" informed the Shopkeep.

"Okay," said Chrom as his face turned into .

* * *

"Five hours and thirty minutes later," said the Spongebob Narrator.

The group managed to explain their proposition, well cause to Waluigi and the other stands. Well, Palutena had to explain everything because they wouldn't listen to either Chrom due to seeing his potential business as an threat once he rescues the fishsticks and Rufure because they didn't take kindly to yuppies. It didn't help that word got around that Kynthia is in fact, related to one of the multimillionarie corporation owners, Colonel Sanders, the guy who owns KFC.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WORKING WITH LANCIAS' CHROM?!" Morshu yelled.

Chrom explained the whole thing from start to finish, how Lucina stole the fishsticks and the newspapers away and he needed to work with Grima, seeing how his ex-wife Ruben is on his daughter's side. Grima wouldn't join unless he had his wife with him so he had to play by Grima's rules. And then this whole thing happened and ow my hand hurts.

"I see... what if she stabs you in the back though?!" said Relicanth, quite uncertain about this.

"I'm not going to stab anyone in the back," Kynthia replied, slightly miffed. "In fact, I want to help you local businesses against tyrants like my father and his friends. Same with that dinosaur who always seems to be drinking Capri-sun in you know, the bathroom. Anyways, I like supporting local businesses because even if they might not be perfect sometimes or the owner is aggressive that doesn't mean their hard work should be trampled on. I mean, it's an lot more better supporting someone who needs the money rather than some mass production chain who doesn't care who or what gets sick at all," she explained.

"She's right," said Phosphora, agreeing with her friend. "Sometimes these big guys try to cover up horror stories too."

"I see," said Waluigi. He was still an bit irritated over the whole loss yet handed them invitations. "You guys show up in the morning to the meeting. Explain to the rest of the businesses your cause for fighting these big corporations while we inform you of other possible threats," he explained.

"Alright!"

Soon Chrom did an 90s outtake pose as his triumph to get recognized as an restaurant owner was successful.

"So our heros truimph over the great purple man in an wacky battle more like poor Waluigi suffered through Ganondorf's weeaboo antics. Join us next cheepter as Chrom and the Fishsticks travel over to an certain hare's house and get sent to an theme park of an life time. Meanwhile the evil Yoshi & Co. get some new allies on their side as the first journey is to none other than Universal Studios! See you next time," said the Pokemon Narrator from the 4kids version.


	6. Cheepter 5: The Journey Begins!

**hey guys. sorry if this cheepter seems short, i am currently typing this up on an ipad in an hotel room since i am currently attending anime expo this weekend. i did manage to do this and hopefully i can manage to type out an certain fourth of july special for an certain fic thats not this one as well. so now lets begin!**

* * *

 _ **Chrom and the Fishsticks**_  
 _Cheepter 5: The Journey Begins!_

Alas, our heroes are currently residing in the Lancia beach house after the whole battle with Waluigi which ended up more in an disaster than anything else. Hardly anyone managed to get anything properly done and instead, scared the poor man off with the sacred weeaboo dance, Caramelldansen. Afterwards, the group needed an place to stay especially to attend the morning meeting tomorrow about the outlet mall's construction so Kynthia remembered the beach house she owned. And of course, Chrom had to mutter something about those damn, filthy rich people even if he was called an hypocrite due to his complaining about nonsense.

Kynthia happened to be cooking dinner for everyone, merrily humming an happy little melody. Ganondorf peered into the kitchen before glancing back at Rufure who appeared to be engrossed in an Time magazine, seeing how magazines themselves were the closest place he could get an proper article.

"I must admit, you do really have the luxurious life Rufure," exclaimed the Gerudo King.

The fell dragon manakete rose an brow, not quite sure where Ganondorf was even getting to or going at.

"Well, you have an woman cooking your meals for you, that's for sure. Two, you're pussy whipped by said female and three, Kynthia really is housewife material, I mean look at her," the redhead explained.

"... You do realize what you said is extremely sexist right? And also, I'm not "pussy whipped" or whatever absurd term you "manly" men dub it as. You should really watch your tongue Ganon, I can easily kick you out you know, seeing how this technically is my beach house as well," Rufure sternly informed. He didn't seem to be quite in the mood for mindless chatter nor bickering.

"Grima, stop being such an SJW," scolded Chrom. Ganondorf high-fived the Ylissean king as Rufure rolled his eyes in response. He didn't have team to deal with such man children the way they were acting, so he decided to relocate for the time being.

* * *

The room arrangements were made as the children were to sleep with one another, Phosphora, Toadette and Palutena in another room while Chrom got stuck with Grima and Kynthia since he was complaining the entire time. The three were getting ready to go to bed early to get to the meeting on time. Of course, there were some complications as Chrom and Rufure bickered with one another the entire time while Kynthia was extremely nervous for tomorrow, even whimpering as she took deep breaths.

And then it happened.

"Gods, Grima did you just fart?!" cried Chrom. He couldn't believe what he was smelling. It was worse than the time when Mr. Krabs smelled an smelly smell, one that was really smelly as the evil anchovies invaded the Krusty Krab in the first Spongebob episode.

"Chrom, first of all go to hell and second of all, I didn't pass gas," the fell dragon retorted back. It seems he was sick of Chrom's stupid antics or his assumptions about him passing gases. It was pretty natural to do so, yet people always acted so childish when it came to either gas or even an mere bug.

"If you didn't fart and I didn't fart, that means-!"

Kynthia's face turned tomato red as she sighed. She appeared to be hyperventilating a bit, as if extremely nervous for tomorrow. She quickly took her medication for her depression and anxiety before returning back to the bedroom.

"I'm so sorry!" she frantically exclaiming, feeling extremely embarrassed. "It's just that when my anxiety really acts up, I tend to either get extremely nauseated or my stomach really hurts to the point where anything happens..."

She looked like an puppy who just got beaten up, almost about to cry due to being ashamed that Chrom was making it more of an bigger deal than it needed to be. So, Rufure naturally went over to his wife and wrapped his arms around her, pecking her cheek and of course, flirting which caused Chrom himself to make an disgusted face before smirking.

"So, Grima, do you have an fart fetish?!" teased the indigo haired man.

"Fuck you Chrom! I don't have any fucking peculiar fetishes thank you very much and even if I did, I would like to keep my bedroom life separate from my social life," snapped Rufure.

To make matters worse, Sonic the Hedgehog happened to show up out of nowhere, sitting on the edge of the balcony as he began to point and laugh at Rufure, causing the man to turn completely red.

"Ahahaha, Grima has an fart fetish," said Sonic, completely believing Chrom. Even if he knew it wasn't true, Sonic wanted to spread the false rumor anyways because like everyone knew, Sonic is an fucking dick.

"NO I DON'T!" Rufure cried.

However, Sonic didn't listen. The way past cool dick ran off and went to spread the false accusation about Grima to everyone he knew. Chrom just smirked while Rufure muttered an few curse words before Kynthia told the two to quit.

Later that night, Chrom couldn't sleep due to the constant snoring. He muttered something under his breath about Grima needing to stop snoring in his sleep however, his jaw dropped when it turned out the perpetrator was none other than his wife. Kynthia snored the night away as she slept between the two men, of course, cuddling with her husband in her sleep. Grima had his arm wrapped around her, being the goddess' protector as he wanted to make sure she was safe.

Chrom just stared, wondering how the fell dragon manage to even sleep through his wife's loud snores. Then again, he didn't want to know anything about that stupid dragon. So, he tried his best to sleep the night away.

* * *

Chrom's gang finally arrived at the meeting which took place near the train station. The location was already filled to the brim as Mr. Krabs and his trusty employees were there, Petey Piranha, Lakithunder, Chief Chilly, Mummipokey, Lilligant, Morshu, Relicanth, Dr. Robotnik and many more as all of them were here to discuss about the rise of the outlet mall and the corporate take over of their small stands and businesses.

The fish Pokemon took to the stand, facing his peers as he glanced at each and every one of them before speaking.

"So, what are we going to do about this mall business?" he asked. Unfortunately, things were not quite going as they were planned. Everyone almost appeared to be in their own world as Ganondorf was listening(and dancing) to Psy's "Gangnam Style." Whimsicott appeared to be getting quite irritated by the weeaboo king's dancing.

"For starters, I'd like it if Mr. Ganondorf over here would stop being an weeaboo or whatever absurd Japanese thing he's doing," said Whimsicott, watching the Gerudo king dance the morning away.

"I agree, it's really distracting, almost like an trainwreck of some sorts," Lilligant added.

"Correction, Ganondorf's being an koreaboo right now," Ness exclaimed.

"Koreaboo?"

Whimsicott wasn't sure if koreaboo even differed from weeaboo, yet he was curious to know.

"Like an weeaboo, except obsessed with Korea and K-pop. Trust me, I know because Jeff at one point, went through an koreaboo phase," the psi boy informed.

"We really need to focus," Chief Chilly stated, looking at all of the distractions. "Like, really need to focus here!"

"Agreed," Chrom chimed in, stroking the last fishsticks on earth, causing Rufure to facepalm at the sight.

"Stop doing that, it's creepy as hell," Phosphora complained, wondering how she managed to deal with Chrom at times. At one point, she considered having an vote to change Grima to leader instead of this fishstick obsessed lord.

"We have to MMMMMM do something about that mall," Morshu remarked as he glanced over at the two bumbling idiots before back to his fellow standees. "That outlet mall will bring nothing but yuppies!"

"Indeed! However, preventing the mall's completion will not be an easy task," Madame Grunty pointed out as she observed her crystal orb. "We must do whatever we can to protect out small businesses, let alone our stands!"

"Aye, it doesn't help that they're taking away our business, let alone building over our stands like we mean nothing!" Cheepskipper growled and just like Relicanth, getting disgusted by Chrom's actions.

"Actually, business was already going quite lower," Fastidious Beaver pointed, sitting on Phosphora's lap.

As soon as Fastidious Beaver pointed that out, the group started fighting amongst one another.

"Guys, we need to band together!" Toadette suggest as she sat between Ness and Dry Bowser. "After all, who knows what evil scheme McDonald's and all those big businesses are planning to do to this wonderful place! I for sure, know it's unfair!"

"Yeah. It's an real shocker that they won't sparking stop!" Lakithunder exclaimed, sharing off his wonderful electrical puns which caused everyone else to groan and roll their eyes.

Everyone began doing their own thing once more as Waluigi watched Dr. Robotnik scratch his own crotch, causing him to slightly cringe. He couldn't help but facepalm, realizing this meeting was going nowhere. Nobody was focusing at all, if only someone could take over this meeting and guide it in the right direction.

Getting annoyed, Kynthia got in the center of the group, clearing her throat yet it wasn't enough to gather their attention.

"Ahem..."

Still no use. Pit was trying to convert Laharl to learning about 1776 and the founding fathers in which the demon kid groaned something under his breath. Doc Brown was reading an scientific novel for the time being, spending his wasted time more useful than the rest of the group who were acting like school children.

"Why do I attend these things," Dry Bowser muttered, sighing. Toadette patted his back, giving the man some sympathy as she understood his pain.

Kynthia made an face as she was also an no nonsense person. So with her might, she stomped on the ground an few times, ending shockwaves of dark energy outward towards the group, startling them as they glanced in her direction.

"Thank you," she said with an hint of annoyance in her tone. Waluigi sighed in relief, thanking god that she at least managed to steer the meeting back to its proper direction.

"Anyways, I know all of you see me as an potential threat seeing how my father is in fact, the guy who owns Kentucky Fried Chicken but do not be alarmed for I side against him," she explained. "I for the longest time, have always been an supporter of local and small businesses. To see you guys wiped out by these big corporations is quite depressing and I for one will not stand for it!"

The crowd cheered as Grima beamed proud. He knew he married that woman for an reason and this was one of them!

"You guys will have to fight back with force, no matter how ugly the battle gets," she continued. "If you don't conquer their bases, let alone their keep they will conquer yours! Are you going to let them take advantage of you?!"

"NO!" the group roared.

"Then fight back! You show those bastards whose boss!"

Everyone was now pumped up with pride from the speech as Waluigi slid an piece of paper towards Palutena.

"Give this it to your idiot of an leader," the man informed. "Tell him that this man will help them guide to the first quest! Meanwhile, us standees will handle these big businesses."

"Got it," said the green haired goddess. She glanced at the paper, recognizing the address belonged to none other than Peppy Hare. So like she was told, she handed the paper towards Chrom and whispered some directions in his ear.

* * *

Back at the headquarters which was you know, in the bathroom. Everyone sat on toilet chairs while Yoshi slurped on an Capri-Sun, the favorite drink of Dark Pit and Lucas.

"It appears that those idiots have more obstacles than they thought," stated Yoshi.

"Good! It'll hold them off for an while. Knowing Chrom, he'll most likely be an complete dipshit and screw everyone over anyways," Ruben said bitterly.

Little did the know, they had an special guest coming in as it was none other than the sardine lover, Valvatorez. He was the most sophisticated man Yoshi ever gazed upon, in fact, too good for them.

"I hear you need some allies, am I correct?" Valvatorez exclaimed, stroking his lovely sardines.

"That is correct... what who are you anyways?" asked Cross, not sure who the man himself even was. Then again, he was always stoned ever since they banned weed back at the Smash Manor an long time ago. Rip WEED, I will always love you.

"Who am I you ask? I am Valvatorez, an former tyrant before losing my powers. Now, I'm just an mere Prinny instructor who could easily aid your conquest to make Chrom and his pals miserable," he exclaimed. "In fact, I can provide you my lovely Prinnies, they'll be of great use. In addition to my army, I also found some others who would love to aid your cause.

"Hmm, well you do provide more than anyone else has so far," said Roy, who happened to be counting his lovely dosh because he will forever be loaded with it.

"I actually agree," said Lucina, sharing her opinion. "I feel that Valvatorez could help us, in fact, his Prinny army will allow us to grow in size to prevent my father's annoying antics. I'm surprised his group hasn't even abandoned him yet with the way he's been acting."

"Agreed," replied Diddy Kong. He was pissed off because Sheik somehow out of nowhere, convinced the mighty god Masahiro Sakurai to nerf him even more than he needed to be while the ninja got away with it. So, Diddy held more resentment towards Princess Zelda than anything else, seeing how Sheik was in fact, just the princess under an disguise.

"Alright, you're in!" Yoshi said, knowing he would have broken everyone's heart if he refused the sardine-obsessed man. At least his sardine obsession was more reserved and mild compared to Chrom's love of fishsticks.

* * *

Chrom and his gang arrived at Peppy Hare's residence as the hare was reading an magazine about his most favorite place in the world, Universal Studios. He loved the fun attraction so much, if he could, he would of had an wedding at the location!

"So, we were told to see you about something," Toadette exclaimed, holding onto the directions Waluigi handed them.

"Why yes, it appears that your guys' journey is just beginning," he said, placing the magazine down. "In fact, your guys' first mission is located in Orlando Studios Florida!"

"Is it near Hyrule, Florida?" Laharl stated, being an asshole. He just wanted to see if anyone would react that at the fact that he managed to turn the country of Hyrule into an hick town during his exhibition.

"Hyrule, Florida?" Rufure just had an blank face.

"IT DOESN'T EXIST!" Kynthia yelled, of course causing Laharl to snicker an bit before she took out the famous holy water. "You little brat!"

"NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN!" screeched the demon prince as she tossed holy water on his face.

"Riki slay demon, Riki angry demon prince with us!" said the Nopon as Shulk had to restrain his little friend.

"Easy there Riki," Shulk exclaimed. "He's just an child and not like Dark Pit or as you call him, Satan Pit."

"Right, so anyways, Universal Studios?" Marth said, bringing back the conversation right on track.

"Why can't we go to Disney," Phosphora complained. "It's so much better than Universal Studios, I mean Universal sucks period!"

Peppy glared at the lightning goddess. "UNIVERSAL IS BETTER THAN FUCKING DISNEY OKAY?!"

His yelling took everyone by surprise as everyone stared. Doc Brown made an note to warn people earlier not to insult Universal Studios in front of Peppy Hare or else they'll feel his wrath.

* * *

"Question is, how are we even going to get to Universal Studios?!" exclaimed Toadette.

"We can ride GriGri!" Kynthia exclaimed with excitement.

"Wait, what?!" Laharl replied, being confused. He was at least glad that Pit finally removed the handcuffs last night but still, the thought of being stuck with these losers was too much for the demon child. He still wondered where the hell Flonne and Etna even were or what they were even doing at this point.

"Great Scott, I am also confused myself lad," Doc Brown added. The famed scientist was just going to suggest everyone hopping in the DeLorean yet Grima's wife thought of another plan, which can be taken the wrong way out of context.

"So, we can engage in an massive orgy?" Pit bluntly stated out, receiving an glare from Palutena's end because she would expect something like that to come out of Pittoo's mouth.

"No, he can turn into an dragon! We ride him, nobody has to pay air fees or have to listen to Peppy ramble on about Universal Studios," Kynthia replied.

Everyone nodded as they agreed. So with all do, Rufure turned into the fell dragon Grima as Chrom complained the entire time. And so our heroes traveled, making their way towards Florida as their journey to rescue the newspapers and fishsticks were just beginning, and to put an stop to the evil Ronald McDonald and friends once and for all.

* * *

Meanwhile, Chrom and the Fishsticks appeared on the screen in the lair of the evil fast foods. Ronald McDonald did the Gendo Ikari pose as he observed them on the screen, revealing off of the members.

"So this is who Chrom's working with," said Papa John.

"Oh my, it appears that one of his allies happens to be your daughter Colonel," Burger King pointed out.

"Why would she be helping Chrom and those shitty establishments anyways? I mean, she's an Sanders too for crying out loud!" stated Wendy.

"Well, she's always had an soft spot for small business, that's for sure," KFC answered. "But she's being so disrespectful going against her father. In fact, I think it's about time I call my wife and we... ground her."

"Wait... Isn't Kynthia about [INSERT AGE HERE] years old," stated Chick-fil-A Cow.

"Doesn't matter! I'm still her father and she'll have to listen to me!" Colonel Sanders demanded!

The evil fast foods then chuckled once more, planning to do something do Chrom and his group at Universal Studios.

* * *

 **and that is done. that is probably the only time youll ever see an mention of gas in any of my fanfics as i really dont do gas humor nor do i have an fart fetish. if you want gas humor, i suggest reading yoshizillas stuff because that guys the master at it especially if you love palutena and other nintendo girls.**

 **anyways, going to probably hit the convention floor once more so see ya guys later!  
**


	7. Cheepter 6: Universal Studios HELL Pt 1

**hello everyone. sorry for dropping off the face of the earth but a thing called life came up and being me, i focus on that stuff first before writing silly stories. after all, without life, i wouldnt be here writing this fantastic masterpiece of crap.**

 **i feel bad for hoarding this for a while since i do have later parts of the chapter written so im gonna be nice and give you guys the first part of this to say the least.**

 **anyways, lets get started with this shit shall we?**  
 **disclaimer for those who dont know, this is a parody fic (parody crack more like) meaning nothing is taken seriously. then again, people love to rustle their jimmies up in parody fics regardless and think theyre better than them when in fact, we all know thats a lie. nothing beats the evil ronald mcdonald, not even i could combat him if i could.**

 **if you read my other parody(did you do it with s-support?), im sorry to confess but this one is waaaaay more stupid than that one.**

* * *

 ** _Chrom and the Fishsticks_**  
 _Cheepter 6: Universal Studios HELL Part 1_

Finally our faithful heroes arrived at their designated stop a few hours later during the evening time. Well, it would have been a lot earlier if Chrom hadn't kept refusing to ride Grima first, seeing how he didn't want to lose his dignity with the fell dragon. After a countless, unnecessary jabbering and excessive arguing, Chrom and the Fishsticks managed to finally get their fellow royal leader to shut his trap and just grim and bear it. So the gang was now at Orlando, Florida staying at the lovely Ritz-Carlton Orlando, Great Lakes because Chrom figured rich people would complain about a motel or Holiday Inn.

He was quite bummed because he wanted to stay at the Keystone Motel and enjoy some of that delicious square pizza. Ness had to inform the Ylissean king that the motel itself was located at St Pete Beach and was nowhere near Orlando at all. Chrom was quite disappointed at first to learn of the grave news however quickly got over it when he remembered something related to fishsticks.

Chrom wondered how his precious fishsticks and his fish friends were doing back with Lucina and that evil heathen Ruben. Unfortunately, Chrom wasn't the brightest individual so he failed to take Dry Bowser's thoughtful advice and blamed the food shortage on his ex-wife and not the fact that he should be a better father.

Rufure was at the hotel lobby to make reservations and to get the rooms.

"Hello welcome to the Ritz-Carlton Orlando Great Lakes. I am none other than Mr. Moesby, the former manager of the Tipton Hotel," said the handsome black man.

"Wait... why did you quit working at the Tipton, I mean-"

Before Rufure could finish, Mr. Moesby cut him off so he can explain the story to the fell dragon manakete himself. After all, sometimes change was needed despite how lovely things where and he even got to live on the deck.

"You see, I needed change. Everything I knew was gone and before I knew it, those troublesome boys eventually parted ways as well. Like all Disney shows and characters, I got shafted so I decided to find work elsewhere and start my life anew!" Mr. Moesby explained.

"I see..."

The man just nodded as he managed to get them their rooms.

"I can't believe we're in Florida," Kynthia exclaimed as she was taking a look at the Universal Florida pamphlet in her hands.

"Have you ever been before?" Palutena asked.

"Only for Disneyworld. I've unfortunately never had the chance of even going to a Universal resort until now," she replied.

"Disney is still better," Phosphora chimed in as she was still a bit miffed at Peppy for yelling at her like that. "Then again, we had to go to Universal Studios for our senior trip. Let's just say some of the things the guys did I would rather not say."

Phosphora recalled the memory like it was no tomorrow. They were assigned to stay in small groups however, Chrom decided to wander off on his own and somehow decided he was King Kong out of all things. It was quite the strange tale as the Exalt stripped himself down from top to bottom, wearing nothing but his underwear as he climbed onto of imitation Eiffel Tower holding a Barbie doll in his eyes. Never again she thought.

Laharl held onto a map of Florida, snickering to himself as he managed to use his demon powers from the Underworld to forge something into it. Pit was jamming out to the Liberty Kids theme song on his mp3 player while Ness was playing with his yo-yo.

The little demon kid decided to be a brat and show off the map to everyone near him.

"Hey guys, guess what?" Laharl said, being a fucking dick.

"Hm?" Marth was confused while Shulk just shrugged.

"It's the map of Florida dumbasses and more importantly, Hyrule, Florida does exist!" he proudly stated.

"Let me see that..."

Doc Brown took the map from the thirteen year old as he began to observe it. Soon, he managed to find the proclaimed city of Hyrule, Florida right on the map.

"Great Scott, he's right..." muttered the older man.

Kynthia glanced over and groaned under her breath until she managed to catch onto something. Somehow that little brat managed to copy the map font and squeezed the fictional town onto the map itself.

"This isn't real... he's just being a little shit again," she replied, sighing.

Pit then of course, yelled at Laharl and told him that tampering with maps are illegal.

"Bite my squishy demon ass," Laharl barked back.

"NOT UNTIL YOU SAY LINCOLN IS GREAT!" Pit yelled.

Toadette rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Here we go again," Ness said, sighing.

"Has Pit always been like this?" she asked.

"Sadly yes," Ness answered. "Let's just say he used to yell at his brother all the time for drinking Capri-sun."

"Oh..."

* * *

In the midst of night in a place which wasn't Orlando, Cia bolted up from the bed as she felt queasy out of nowhere. She quickly ran off and stormed into the bathroom as it grabbed the attention of her husband as well. Robin wondered what in the world was going on as he heard his wife vomiting in the toilet. He rushed over to the master bathroom to make sure his wife was okay.

"Cia, are you feeling alright?" he asked.

The Hylian on the other hand, just turned her gaze towards him as she narrowed her brow in slight annoyance.

"Does it look like I'm alright? Robin, I feel really..."

Before she could finish, Cia vomited more projectiles into the toilet. While she suffered from her uneasy stomach, Robin meanwhile decided to retrace his steps. He recalled eating nothing but home cooked meals in the last few days and drinking plenty of water. So, the question is, why exactly was Cia throwing up. Part of him decided to test something as he managed to find a unused pregnancy test before rushing back into the bathroom.

"Hey Cia," he piped up. "Try using this when you get the chance."

With those words, Robin stepped out into their bedroom as he hopped her sudden actions didn't wake up their children. The last thing he needed was crying babies on top of dealing with a sick wife.

A few minutes later, Cia slowly stepped out of the bathroom as she held onto the wall for balance. Robin noticed that she looked quite bewildered as if something happened.

"Robin," she exclaimed. Before he could even muster up a reply, she walked over to him and pulled the white haired man into a tight hug before releasing him.

"I'm pregnant! We're going to be having another baby! I finally get to have possibly a mini Cia!"

"Another one... That's fantastic honey," he lied. In the back of his mind, he was screaming because to be quite honest, Robin thought that three children was enough as it is. Shortly after, he passed out from the news.

* * *

 **and thats a wrap for now. i guarantee part 2 will be out soon and will complete this chapter.**


End file.
